2009… grrrrr
My outlook on life has changed dramatically in the last few months. 2009 really sucked eggs- BIG TIME. Most of y’all know that my husband and I were served papers from both of our exes. And these were major court papers. The lame thing about this is that you can’t just ignore it. You are forced to answer by hiring a lawyer. If you don’t then the courts assume you agree with everything in the papers and file in the petitioner’s favor. 
We, obviously, couldn’t let that happen. So, 2009 was spent figuring out how to pay retainer fees and making payments with money we don’t have.
During this time we seriously talked about renting our home out. We even went as far as to look for apartments for rent in our area. We were going to move our family of 7 into a 3 bedroom apartment. How is that fair? Man, it put me in a bad mood for the entire year! Moving is such a pain anyway, with finding the right place, packing, changing schools, church schedules, moving away from friends. You have to check out neighborhoods, school districts, etc… There’s so much to think about. I know I always looked online to read reviews about different apartment complexes, areas of a city, etc… I hate moving with a passion. I don’t like living in apartments with children. I’ve lived in my fair share of apartments. I had one downstairs neighbor that would ram her ceiling with a broom everytime my 3 year old ran thru the living room. Really?? You live in an apartment, there’s gonna be some noise! Another time my husband and I had just been married, so the family below us had newlyweds above them… Yeah… Sorry about that ~j. Moving on… I don’t like moving. I am thankful for sites like Move.com to help make the moving experience easier…
The thought of renting out our home to a family and moving just so we could pay for lawyers was so frustrating to me. It’s still frustrating, but we decided we aren’t going to lose our home and let all this affect the lives of our children. I’ve decided to not let the choices and actions of selfish people affect ME. The last 10 years of my life I’ve been doing that. I’m done. I choose to be happy. I choose to see the silver lining. I mean, honestly, all this court crap has made my kiddos cling to me more. They know that I’m fighting for what THEY want. They love me more for that. Sei and I have grown closer too. We’ve been in and out of court with exes for our entire marriage. It’s draining emotionally and financially, but we have that awesome of a relationship where we absolutely DO NOT allow it to mess that up. Another thing that has surprisingly changed my attitude is Mary Kay. I am stoked to be a beauty consultant. Getting to go to weekly meetings with awesome women, dressing up (which I thought I’d hate!!), having parties getting to meet new people, etc… has changed me in so many ways in just a few short months. It’s been rad.
You know how people will say they are “so thankful” for their trials? Well, maybe one day I’ll be to that point, but right now I’m not. I’m not thankful for all this at all. It makes me mad. But these trials have made me stronger. They’ve helped me grab a hold of my attitude and adjust it. I still don’t know why Sei and I felt so strongly to move to Texas. I really don’t. But… we’re here. And I’m not going thru the nonsense of moving again, so we might as well make the best of it, right?
I heart my family.
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I so wish I could make the exes go away. It annoys me that they only care about themselves. I still think that the twins could get better dance lessons for less money in Texas. I also think it’s ridiculous that she wants you to pay it all. I have no words for your ex. He wouldn’t understand them anyway. You have to have the ability to put yourself aside and put your kids first to understand what I would say to him.
I continually think how blessed your kids are to have you and Sei. Life would suck for them without you all.
.-= Klin´s last blog ..To Be Offended or Not. . . . That Is A Choice =-.
I knew -way before reading this- that you ARE awesome.
but then :’}
FIsrt I was all : then >:( then
You’re such a good example.
Love ya lots Tori and Sei and kids!
.-= NCS´s last blog ..You Know the Number* =-.
*sigh* sorry, i was excited to be first…thus all the misspelleing
.-= NCS´s last blog ..You Know the Number* =-.
Sorry you’re going through this…(hugs)
My husband’s ex-wife only tried crap the first 3 months we were married and then I finally set her straight. Thankfully my husband had full custody of his son when we got married, so I didn’t have to worry about that nonsense. We did have to sign court papers about 6 years into our marriage so his ex-wife’s new husband could adopt her little girl, which had my husband listed as her father on the birth certificate, even though he wasn’t. She had an affair and got pregnant by another man, and my husband (at that time her husband) went ahead and raised that little girl for two years while trying to get her to go to marraige counseling. She wouldn’t and finally he realized there was no hope for their marriage. He made sure though that he got full custody of his real son when they divorced. I had never been married or had children before I met my husband so that wasn’t an issue.
I know alot of people that go garbage like you’re going through though. I just don’t think the ex’s get it. They don’t get what they are doing in effect is really going to hurt their future relationship with the kids when they become adults.
Oh, tori, you are wonderful. You are so right–our trials do make us stronger. In our RS lesson on Sunday, there was reference to a quote by Pres. Kimball about how in “the Grand Council we learned the purpose for our progression: to have a fulness of joy. However, we also learned that some would be deceived, choose other paths, and lose their way. We learned that all of us would have trials in our lives: sickness, disappointment, pain, sorrow, and death. But we understood that these would be given to us for our experience and good. If we allowed them to, these trials would purify us rather than defeat us. they would teach us to have endurance, patience, and charity.”
You are learning a great deal through all of this, and your decision to choose to be able is the right one.
And we all know you are RAD ; )
.-= yvonne´s last blog ..The Last of the 50′s =-.
I am sorry 2009 sucked so bad! I can’t imagine the lawyer bills. We are in a lawsuit right now and just our first retainer about made us vomit. You can’t be expected to be grateful for a trial that the exes are putting you guys through. They seem to take pleasure in raking you guys over the coals. I wouldn’t be thankful either, but I am glad you see it’s brought your family closer. And you know what? Later in life, someone you admire will need your comfort when they go through something similar… you’ll know the right things to say to comfort them. You are being refined, Tori. Heavenly Father is just preparing you for great things!
.-= Gina´s last blog ..Making Valentine’s =-.
Tori, you and Sei are amazing. You have a wonderful, strong, beautiful family.
(and STOP IT with the newlyweds upstairs thing! hahahahaha, seriously — you are among my favorite neighbors EVER.)
.-= ~j.´s last blog ..a decago =-.