Late last night started out normal… I watched “Teen Mom 2″ and then before going to bed checked my Facebook news feed. I rarely visit walls and my news feed is usually full of updates from pages I “like” such as The Police Wife Life, The Thin Blue Line, etc… So, the last thing I was reading about before bed was breaking news from KSL.com about 6- yes, SIX- Odgen, Utah police officers had been shot. As I lay there with my sweet, Officer of the Year I was literally nauseous. I told him what happened. He read the info the news had and said, “What the hell?” and that was all he said. I know in his head he was thinking more. Probably something along the lines of “Why do you show me crap like that? I have to work tomorrow!” And a lot of the times I think, “Why do I read crap like this? My heart, my life, has to work tomorrow!” Well, I woke up this morning scared to read the news. Yes… sadly one of the officers died, another is in critical condition and the other 4 are still in the hospital being treated as well.  I am so angry, stressed, sad… I can’t even express what I am feeling right now. I just know I didn’t put on mascara before starting this post… because I am already crying and will continue to do so.

Anyone who is friends with me on Facebook probably thinks that I am depressing because I am constantly posting links from the Officer Down page and other LEO related links. Well… It IS depressing. It’s depressing that in December 2011 alone 19 officers died, TWELVE by gunfire. It used to be automobile wrecks I worried about most (and my husband survived a BIG one), but gunfire deaths are increasing rapidly. According to stats:

Since the beginning of 2009, the felonious deaths of law enforcement officers by gunfire has steadily increased; we saw a 35 percent increase in deaths by gunfire in 2009, and another 17 percent increase above that in 2010. Unfortunately 2011 proved to be not only worse, but it ended with the highest amount of officer deaths by gunfire in years — 68 federal, state and local officers died by gunfire, a 15 percent jump from last year when 59 were killed. It marks the first time in 14 years that firearms fatalities were higher than traffic-related deaths. (Source: www.thepolicewifelife.com/2012/01/a-call-to-action-by-melissa-littles-and-chelsea-spenser/ and www.odmp.org)

And today, let’s see… It’s January 5th and there has been 3 officers killed by gunfire in 2012.  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??????!!!!!! I do not comprehend. I don’t WANT to comprehend what the hell is going on in the heads of the losers who shoot these officers. It’s like the cops aren’t real to them. A police officer is a human being behind that badge. There was a shooting at my husband’s department this year. 2 people I know and respect were shot at by some drunk who probably didn’t even remember what he did in the morning. He shot at 2 GOOD men. They shot back, wounding him in the leg, and you know what they did after that? They went and administered first aid until an ambulance arrived. You know what I wanted to do? I wanted to go kick the guy where he was shot, HARD, and tell him that one of those officers is an amazing DWI officer who joined my Walk Like MADD team last year and helped raise half our money. The other officer is the one who escorted me and my dad to the hospital so I could be there with Seiuli after his accident. He also lives down the street from me and always buys cookie dough from my kid’s when they are selling it for a school fundraiser. These are amazing people and this jackass SHOT at them. That night at around 2am I received a text from Sei. 3 words: “I love you.” I knew something had happened. He always sends texts like that when something bad has happened.

People tend to think “Well, that’s part of the job….” when it comes to the injury or death of an officer. Since when is being killed EVER considered “part of the job?” And better yet, why do people seem unfazed by it? My dad is a CPA. If 19 CPAs were shot and killed in one month it would be national news, right? So when SIX police officers from one department are shot in one night, why is the first “news” story I see on Yahoo: “Clay Aiken’s Odd New Face”?? Another big story? “Texas Police Kill 8th-grader Carrying Pellet Gun.” Of course the title paints the officers in a negative light. If you read the article and look at the picture of the “pellet gun” you will see 1) The gun looks VERY real  2) He was given plenty of opportunities to drop the weapon. But no… the boy’s parents are blaming the police for not just shooting to “bring him down.” Two officers shot a total of 3 times. Ok, this isn’t the movies. Cops aren’t trained to shoot out the knee cap to “bring someone down.” They are trained to shoot to kill. I am saddened by the entire story. It’s horrible that a 15 year old died. It’s horrible officers had to kill a kid. No one wants to do that. But the boy pointed, and would not lower, a gun towards officers- in a school full of 11-15 year old kids. The Utah police officer shooting was in the news…  7 stories down the list. A story in Iraq was first.

I am so frustrated right now. I’m tired of people writing “FML” for their Facebook status over spilled milk or a hang nail. There is a wife out there in Utah who received that call she knew she might receive but prayed she never would. She has to tell her 2 young children that their daddy is dead. Cops are being ambushed, sitting in their police car writing reports or waiting for a red light. They are the new target, the new enemy. I’ve even read people write “Cops are just another gang.” Bless your poor, stupid brain. It must be tough going through life that ignorant. You can say what you want, but that “gang” would still try to save you if you needed help. Would you do the same for someone who treats you like crap? And yes, it may be their job, and there are some jerks on power trips, but to take that job for the pay LEO receive… they deserve respect. They deserve respect from your children. Don’t tell your kids that they need to be good or “that policeman over there is going to take you to jail.” How does that make your children view police officers? They deserve respect from you. Don’t say “I pay your salary!” when they do their job and enforce the law you were breaking. They deserve respect from the media. You will see 10 “bad cops” stories to the 1 “good cop” story and it’s all about ratings. How much of this video I am posting did you see on the news? Just the maybe 10 “peaceful protestors” being sprayed with pepper spray like the cop was watering a garden? Yeah, me too. However, if you watch the entire video there are hundreds of students surrounding the police officers, and they were asked to clear a path several times so the cops could take the detainees. The protestors refused. This, my friend, is called breaking the law.

But we never were shown the 15 minute video or this angle. The media only showed a 30 second snippet. Same with all the freakin’ OWS videos. I love how I had to search and search to find the video of the unprovoked protestor pushing over a motorcycle cop’s bike or the other angle of the man’s foot supposedly being run over by a motorcycle- it so was NOT under the tire. Ridiculous.

I don’t know what I hope to gain by writing this. I just needed to get it out. I have had a love/hate relationships with cops since I was 14. Sometimes I have been on the wrong side of the law and other times I am lying beside the law. I love my officer and I want him home safe with me. He’s not just the “PoPo” to me and our children. He’s my best friend, my lover, my heart… He’s a wonderful dad and a caring, thoughtful man. He’s more than an unknown behind a badge. He is real. He is loved.