How ironic that I almost FORGOT to write this post…

Wow… This could be a really deep, drawn out post, but instead I’ll just make a list…

I WISH I COULD FORGET:

• Seeing my dad tell my mom that my little sister died.
• Hearing my ex-husband answer my question, “What about the kids?” when he decided to leave and hearing him say, “I know I should care, but I don’t.”  WHO SAYS THAT!??!?!!? In fact, I’d like to forget All the stupid crap my ex does on a regular basis. It makes it really hard to forgive completely when he’s constantly giving me more crap I need to forgive him for. It wears me out.
• High school in general…
• The movie “Sleepers.” It disturbed me.
• Some of the things I said and did as a teen… Some of the things that happened to me as a teen…
• The feeling in my gut as I was walking into the hospital after my husband’s accident- not knowing what to expect. That feeling is horrible.
  

  Wrapped around a pole

It’s funny that this is the challenge to day because I was just thinking about this. At church we talked about letting our talents shine and not burying them.  Obviously we are all blessed with some sort of talent. Some of us have “talent show” talents that can be displayed. And others have talents that are part of our personality or a characteristic trait. My husband is abundantly blessed in both areas. He plays the piano BEA.U.TI.FULLY by EAR. Seriously- it’s ridiculous. Check him out HERE. If he’s heard the song, he can play it. It’s awesome and disgusting at the same time. haha  Plus he’s naturally a great police officer (Officer of the Year 2010 suckas!), smart, giving, great conversationalist…

I don’t have any “talent show” talents. In fact, I hated talent shows growing up. I don’t sing. I don’t dance. I don’t recite poetry. lol I played sports growing up and was a natural athlete, so sports were fun. I’m witty and use my humor to lighten the mood and be a peacemaker. Those are things that come naturally. I’ve had interests in different things, but never had the patience to stick with them long enough to become good at it. But about 8 years ago I found myself watching a “Signing Time” video that my sister gave me to use with my kiddos. I watched it and fell in love with American Sign Language. I bought tons of the videos and worked with Isabel and Taj who were my 2 youngest. I started with Taj when he was over year and he picked up signs quickly. With Livie I started at just a few months old. I’ve talked about ASL a lot on my blog and Rachel Coleman (Creator of “Signing Time”) even commented on this post!! I was stoked!!) Anyway, I’m rambling… My point is that I fell in love with ASL and over the years I have studied it on my own, renting videos and books from the library, and FINALLY took a REAL ASL class in college in the Spring. I love it. I’m NOT fluent- not even close. But I have that desire to be fluent some day. So, for now ASL is a hobby, not a talent. But I feel that it could be a talent and I am taking the time to develop it. Not only that, my oldest sons are both taking ASL in high school so we are able to learn together.

Here’s my video story from my ASL 1 class. I made an A+. Make sure you turn on the annotations so you know what I’m saying…

 

 

I met Seiuli online 9 days after my annoying, long, drawn-out divorce was final. He emailed me on June 21. I knew something was different immediately with him- even before I talked to him on the phone. I flew to Utah to meet him July 5. I moved to Utah August 4th and almost 10 years ago, on Sept. 14 I rushed around packing a small bag and ran by Pacific Sunwear to buy a couple of new shirts. I made a list for my sister who would be watching Tristan, Alec and Isabel for the weekend. I checked and double checked to make sure I had the plane tickets. Then I drove to Fred House Academy to pick up Seiuli from his law enforcement training. We got to the airport early as was suggested by the airlines due to all the added security because of the tragic terrorist attacks just 3 days earlier. However, no one seemed to be flying and we were bumped up to an earlier flight. We arrived in Las Vegas 3 hours earlier than expected. What do you do with extra time to kill when you’re eloping?? I honestly don’t remember. I just know the time before our limo came to pick us up (10pm) never seemed to arrive!! Finally Doug- our driver- called up to our room at Circus Circus to let us know he was arriving. We rushed down to meet him and he drove us to the city building to get our marriage license. Then we drove to The Candlelight Wedding Chapel to get married. (It’s been torn down since then… )  Doug was our witness and Rob Wayne Hickey was our preacher. Funny name, I know. He talked and talked and all I could think was, “Shut up already and say we’re married!!” After the ceremony, Doug took pictures for us and then drove us down the Las Vegas Strip. We were hungry but since it was midnite all the fancy restaurants were closed. We ended up eating in the casino restaurant at Circus Circus. I had a tuna melt. Afterwards we went upstairs and… yeah. The next day we hung out on the strip and walked FOR-EV-ER. Certain casinos didn’t look that far until you start walking!!  I had on black flip flops that rubbed a big, painful blister on the top of my foot. So, we bought me some socks to wear with them. I’d only lived in Utah for 6 weeks and I looked like a total Utahn. I was so embarrassed but figured people weren’t paying attention to me and it’s not like I knew anyone there!! The next morning we left and flew back to Utah to start our new life as husband and wife. Our marriage has had it’s fair share of trials- mostly because of exes- but these past 10 years have truly been the best  years of my life. I am so blessed to have such a loving husband who spoils me rotten. He’s a great dad to all the kids. He’s never looked at the kids as “step” or “biological” kids. They’re all HIS kids. He does anything to make me happy and sacrifices so much for our family. I know our decision to elope pissed a lot of people off, but it came down to this: We wanted a MARRIAGE, not a wedding. We knew we were suppose to be together and everyone wanted to give their 2 cents worth. We had both been married before and gone thru painful divorces, so it’s not like this was something we weren’t taking seriously. Eloping made the most sense and we have never regretted it.

Today’s challenge is “Your Biggest Insecurity & Something About Yourself You Are Proud Of.”   Hmm… I actually had to ask my husband what he thought my biggest insecurity is because I could think of a lot.  I have major trust issues. This would be stemming from being married to an a$$ who cheated on me and left me with 3 small children.  You would think finding an awesome man like my husband today– loving him in a way I never knew existed and having his constant love and support would squash that insecurity. I guess in some ways it does, because I honestly believe he would never hurt me like that. But then I get nervous because I know if he did the same things my ex did, it would kill me. If I think about something that devastating happening, I can’t even breathe.  I guess my insecurity would actually be the lack of belief that someone can love me enough to stay. That’s a little deep for this meme, but… yeah. I struggle.

I also hate my body. Haaaaaate my thighs, butt, stomach, and right now I even hate my toes because I hit my big toe on a door and half the nail fell off. LOL  And I type all that as I sit here eating Milk Duds… I was so thin 10 years ago and now… blech. I feel like crap. Moving on…

I am most proud of how I am raising my kiddos. They tell me all the time I’m a “cool mom,” but I’m not one of those moms that try to be a friend and not a parent. I try to draw on my experiences of being a “juvenile delinquent” and not jump to conclusions, LISTEN and remember sometimes kids are just dumb and they aren’t doing things to hurt ME- it’s rarely about me at all.  I may not parent the way books tell you to, or how my parents did or anything else, but my kids are respectful, stay out of trouble, and extremely beautiful, if I do say so myself… So I think I’m doin’ ok.

 

Wow. I’ve done so many crazy things that I can’t even begin to think of them all- or maybe I’ve blocked them out… Probably the most life changing, “crazy” thing I did was elope in Vegas with my husband!!  We had so many people telling us how to do our wedding. Don’t do it this date, don’t have a big reception, don’t invite that person, don’t rush in to it… Blah, Blah, Blah, BLAH!! So, we said “Screw it!” and eloped, pissing off pretty much everyone except for my sister who encouraged it and watched my kids while we went. Thanks again Sister. It will be 10 years on Sept. 14 and I still say it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

I gave birth without an epidural a few times. I had already done it “on accident” with Alec, but with Isabel it was by choice. I liked how powerful & “I am WOMAN!! Hear me ROAR!!” I felt afterwards. I planned to do the same with Taj, but gave in after 10 hours of pitocin-induced labor, an hour & 1/2 before I had him. And with Livie I said “Screw it. I know what it feels like and I just wanna watch Napoleon Dynamite in peace” & got the epidural right when it started hurting. She was my favorite, easiest labor & birth. So, I’m thinking the “no epidural” thing was crazy in a  “you are whacked in the head” kind of way.

There’s a lot more I could talk about, but it’s stuff but I’m gonna have to take the 5th… so I’ll just leave it at that. lol

 

Don’t laugh, but here’s a pic that represents my “Dream Home.”

Maybe not an actual HUT, but I’m just not one of those people who looks at other homes and thinks, “Wow. I want that…” or “I need that big house” or anything else.

I’m not this lady:

 

I don’t care about material stuff. I don’t care about size or resale value or any of that other stuff I’m suppose to care about. I’ve lived in little houses, bigger houses, a small apartment, an apartment with roaches, the wilderness with a cup and a blanket… I’ve had 1 bathroom for 9 people, 3 bedrooms for 7 people…. And we were happy. I tell Seiuli all the time that I’m ready to sell everything and move to our hut in Hawaii. He can be a surf instructor and I’ll sell bobbing head turtles. I think that would be amazing– to sell everything and just go live the life you want; to quit conforming to the norm.  My dream home is with my family… preferably on a beach.

Is that too much to ask?

Anyone who knows me knows that my dream vacation is to Hawaii!!! Seiuli and I are going to Hawaii next year for our 10th anniversary (which is actually in a month…) I cannot wait to hang out on the beach, LEARN TO SURF and reconnect with my man. I could pretty much be happy anywhere with a beach, but Sei lived in Hawaii for a while and he has always told me that I was born to live there. So, I think I should at the very least VISIT the place. I can’t wait!!

Another place on my list is Australia. I have been a fan of Steve Irwin, aka “The Crocodile Hunter” for years and years and I love the zoo. I really would like to visit his zoo. Sei has promised me that he will take me there some day. He would love to surf there as well, so it’s perfect!

Where would you like to travel??

There’s obviously lots of people who have had a huge impact on my life and I’ve had life changing experiences. One thing that had a huge impact on my life was my time at Anasazi. You can read about that HERE. Even though I was still a punk up until I became a mom, I learned things “on the trail” that I could never have learned in the “real world.” It was a great experience.

A person who has had a huge impact on my life is most definitely my husband, Seiuli.

He is such an amazing man. He is patient, kind, giving, trustworthy, smart, a hard worker, fun, athletic, honest, loyal … I could go on and on. He married me even though I was a poor, unemployed, bratty single mom with THREE kids. He jumped in feet first and gave his all as a husband and father. He is a wonderful example to my boys of what a man should be. He shows our daughters how a woman should be treated. And I honestly feel he saved me. I don’t deal well with… bad stuff. I usually end up on a self-destructive path. He found me before that could happen and helped lead me to a happier, healthier place.  I am forever grateful to him. I love him more than I ever thought possible. It’s been 10 years since we met and almost since we eloped (hellz yeah!) and I can wait to be with him forever. Thanks for loving me Babe.

Psh- I WISH I was OCD about SOMETHING. I am definitely NOT a neat-freak or a germ-a-phobe or anything like that.  I don’t care if my vacuum lines are walked on or not straight. I’m ok with my random piles of papers on my desk.  My family probably wishes I had just a little OCD, but alas… they are out of luck. I tried to think of something I do a lot or worry about on a regular basis. This is what I came up with:

• I brush my teeth. A lot. I have ever since I got braces back when I was 12. I mean, I brushed them before that, but now I brush them at least 4 times a day. I don’t like to have a not-clean feeling in my mouth. I brush right when I wake up, after I eat breakfast, another random time during the day, when I shower at night, and usually again after that. I CANNOT go to bed without having just brushed my teeth. It feels gross.
• I check locks. I lock and re-lock my car doors when I get in the car. I lock them on my way out– I inadvertently lock my kids in the car before they can get out on a regular basis.  I deadbolt the front door immediately when I come home. And it bothers me that my backdoor isn’t locked all the time because the dog and kids are running in and out. I like things locked. It’s safer. I guess I am pretty OCD about my safety in general. Ask my husband. He’s the cop and I helped him prepare a class on personal safety. He taught a bunch of my tricks.  

All in all I guess these aren’t bad things to be “OCD” about, if you’d even call it that. I honestly couldn’t think of anything else. What are you OCD about?

Wow. How many posts can I start with “It’s hard for me to choose just one…” I like so many different types of music. I’m not sure if I have an absolute favorite band. I’ll name a few I really love…

Obviously New Kids on the Block… I realize their music is kinda boy-bandish corny, but they bring back memories and make me feel nostalgic. And how can you NOT love them when one of the guys looks like this NOW?? Woot woot!

I really like No Doubt.  I have all their cds including their old school stuff that probably never sold. I love Gwen Stefani and the whole band is just FUN. I saw them in concert maybe back in 2002?? I went with my sister– so fun!!! One of my fave songs by them is Simple Kind of Life.

I heart hairbands because I’m rad like that. My fave is probably Def Leppard. I’ve seen them in concert a few times and loved it every time.  My fave songs by them? Probably Animal, Hysteria… and Love Bites.

And last but not least… 2 more… haha

WEEZER is amazing and so is The All American Rejects!!!! Fave songs by Weezer: Holiday and Only in Dreams. And by The AAR, I love Gives You Hell, Swing Swing and Stab My Back. Did you know the lead singer, Tyson Ritter, was born at a Van Halen concert and wrapped in a Van Halen tshirt? Yeah… pretty cool. They are both awesome bands. I am hoping to see Weezer in October. *fingers crossed*

 

What’s your favorite band or artist?