And Omar- I would LOVE to hear it from a male’s perspective. Because from a chick’s perspective if a rich friend asked me to go to Hawaii on a whim I would have: 1) Stressed about it and felt horribly guilty 2) Found sitters for the kids 3) Prepared meals for while I was gone 4) Paid all the bills that were due that week 5) Found back up sitters 6) Called every couple of hours and finally, 7) Brought back rad gifts.
This is what Sei had to do 1) Say “Sure rich friend, I would love to go to Hawaii with you.” 2) Pack 1 bag that he left in the driveway. 3) 3?? Yeah, right. Like there’s a 3.
Seems a little unfair.
** I am finally getting a new cell phone. I’ve had a cheapy phone from Walmart for about a year since my other cheapy phone got water damage somehow. I am getting a cool one that plays music and has a camera!! Years ago Sei was going to give me a phone for Christmas with a camera and mp3 player. The camera even has it’s own little light incase there isn’t enough indoor or outdoor lighting. I told him not to- I didn’t get why I would need a camera, etc… Then I started blogging and I understand the NEED for a camera!! So, today it should arrive in the mail and I can be a cool bloggah!
** Speaking of cell phones, Tristan asked for a camera phone for Christmas. I told him if he has straight As thru Christmas that yes- I would get him one. BUT since he will prove to me he CAN make straight As I’ll be expecting awesome grades all year. He has been a new kid. He does his homework without me BEGGING and BEATING him. He’s doing awesome- straight As so far. It’s only been like 5 weeks, but still… He wasn’t a “bad” student before at all (As and Bs) but he was LAZY and did as little as possible. Sounds sooooo much like me.
** I’ve been reading a lot of “Cop Wives” support sites online. Ok, apparently the divorce rates among law enforcement officers is really, really HIGH. It’s like the LEO are man-hos!! They cheat right and left. I guess I already knew that since there was a big thing in Utah Co. where Sei was a deputy where one of the property clerks was giving out, um… “favors”, to SEVERAL of the deputies- many of them married. When Sei told me he was so grossed out. I have a pic of her, but that would probably be bad for me to post. Let’s just say… she’s already posted on this blog somewhere years ago… There was also another married deputy getting really, really close to another female deputy and he would be in the gunlocker closet with her and stuff. Sei called him out and told him it was inappropriate and making everyone uncomfortable, etc… I was proud of him for doing that. He told the guy that he knows it would break MY heart if he was behaving like that deputy was. True dat. I’d be waiting for him in the gunlocker closet myself- with a baseball bat. 
** Livie is 2 years 8 months old and sooooooo not wanting to potty train. She knows when she’s pooping but she hides. I tried to sit her on the toilet once when I knew she was about to poop and she screamed bloody murder, stiffened her legs all weird and WOULD NOT sit. Then when I put her diaper back on her she pooped. I’ve never had one rebel against me. In fact, Taj basically trained himself. Any ideas?
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I’ve been grumpy. I’m not even sure *why*?!?! I mean, I kind of know, but I’m not positive. Some of what I write will probably sound like I am bitter towards Sei- and I want to make sure that everyone knows that THAT is NOT the case. I love Seiuli?. I am so proud of him. I respect him. I appreciate him and all his hard work. He is awesome. (I’m pretty sure I make my feelings known about him on a daily basis…)
Anyway… I guess I’ve been bummed. I am pretty lonely here. Yes, there is family near by, but realistically on average I see them once a week. I am home all day with not only Taj and Livie, but with the baby I watch daily & on some days a couple of other kids. I love being a mom. I do. But the daily, mundane crap I have to do has really gotten old. (I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way.) I think part of the reason it’s gotten old is because I’m not sure how much it’s noticed or appreciated. Sei treats me like a queen and my kids are awesome, but the fact of the matter is, moms don’t get progress reports or praise or a paycheck for that matter! Seiuli has been training for months and months to be a police officer. And he has received all those things every step of the way. I was reading thru his progress reports for the last 17 weeks and I was so excited for him and so proud. But I was also thinking, “Does anyone know how good it would make me feel to get a little recognition- to have someone praise my hardwork? Someone give me a goldstar!!!” 
I’m also tired. I’m tired of being tired. I still don’t sleep well when Sei is on nite shift. So atleast 3 nites a week I don’t sleep well. This week it’s been 7 nites because of his changing shift. I am suppose to sleep with my husband Monday, Tues., Wed. and Thurs. nite this week. But- a rich friend of Seiuli’s called him and asked if he’d like to go to Hawaii with him (He’s paying!) leaving Monday and coming home probably Friday this week. How can I tell Sei? “no”? I can’t. I want him to go. I do. But I don’t want to not get to sleep with him or see him for another week. I miss him. Because it pretty much seems like the only time I am completely happy is when I am with him. When I went to Oregon in August I almost didn’t go to the airport that morning because I hadn’t seen him all week and I knew when I’d get back he’d start his work shift again. I felt horrible for leaving. But his brother came into town so I knew he’d have fun. And I had fun. But I missed him immensely- especially with all the surfers and the vibe of the ocean… 
I think I may be living vicariously thru him. He comes home and tells me his cop stories- chasing and tackling people, drunkards, silly 911 calls, etc… I don’t wanna tell him, “Yeah- while you were doing all those exciting things I was playing Cash Cow on Webkinz.” I feel like I have absolutely NOTHING to add to any conversations. Does he really wanna hear about how much hair I cleaned out of the tub drain or how I had found a few new casserole recipes? I highly doubt it. And honestly- I’m not jealous he’s going to Hawaii. I think I’m more “Yeah- if my rich friend called me with the same offer I wouldn’t be able to go because no one would be here to watch the kids.” Men have it so easy.
Anyway… I’m not looking for compliments or whatever. I’m just b!tching because I feel b!tchy. Oh- and I also ran across a bunch of blogs written by women at church. From what I read I feel like if they read my blog then I would be shunned- although they’ve never really talked to me anyway so I wouldn’t know I was being shunned to begin with. Yeah- I’m diggin’ the chicks (and Omar) I hang with in the blogosphere. Y’all are ok with me callin’ it how I see it and being the real me on my blog. I can post when I’m having a grumpy day. Or a sexy day. Or a silly day or a boring day and IT’S OK. I appreciate it. Now that I got all this off my chest I’m gonna go pout some more… and play Cash Cow on Webkinz.
