Really. They do. Bad. How do I know? Because while in Florida Isabel and Taj found a couple of crab legs. Not crabs- just the legs. So, what’d they do? They stuck them in 2 ziplocks full of water and stuck them in the bedtable drawer at the resort. I’m not sure how long they were in there, but I walked in their bedroom and was nearly knocked out from the smell. OMGosh. Y’all- it was BAD. I searched the room trying to find what was causing the smell. The kids were oblivious… “It doesn’t stink in here…” I finally found the baggies and hurried them out of the resort room. I dumped detergent on the carpet and vacuumed it up. It helped some, but the smell lingered for quite a while. Kids are so weird. What exactly were they gonna do with 2 crab legs?

This is Taj. Or as we like to refer to him “Spaz Boy” or “Punk.” This kid is a handful. I didn’t realize that until Liv was born. There’s a few things about him that I have to credit my husband’s genes for, because none of my other children have been like this. For one thing, he is a runner. Meaning- he runs from me in public. All the time. The library- he runs. The grocery store- he hops out of the basket and runs. And most recently- when we’re getting in the van, he runs. We went to Kid to Kid to buy a double stroller. When we were leaving I put Liv in the van and went around back to open the trunk door. Taj crawled in thru the back and over the back seat. I messed with the stroller, got it folded and shut the back. I went around to the sidedoor by Taj’s seat. I didn’t see him at 1st, but since all the other doors had been shut I knew he was in the van. At least, I thought I knew he was in the van… I figured out after a minute that he was not in the van. I noticed people in the car next to mine so I asked them if they had seen a little blonde boy get out of my van. I thought “Surely if they had seen him they would have got my attention!” Nope. This was the man’s answer, as he chuckled, “Yep. He took off a while ago!” Gee- thanks. IDIOT!! (Say that like Napoleon Dynamite and it’s funny.) So, I take off down the sidewalk thinking he went back thru the kidsize door at Kid to Kid. Uh, no such luck. I look up and I see this small blonde child DANCING ON TOP OF A PARKED CAR! What would possess him to do that?? (Polynesians dance a lot, so again it must be Sei’s genes.) I didn’t know if I should claim him as mine or keep walking. There were witnesses (the dorks in the car by me) so I had to claim him. I grabbed him off his “stage” and headed back to the car where my baby girl was just waiting to be kidnapped. I called Sei and told him I was never, ever, ever, going into public again with Taj. Then I called my sister, fellow mother of a runner. She had a good laugh, then informed me that although my story was funniest, she won most embarrassing for the time she had to chase my nephew across a soccer field wearing her swimsuit.
Another thing I contribute to his Samoan genes is Taj’s loud, ugly cry. It has NEVER been cute. Sei has a very loud family (not quiet and demur like mine…not) so it has to be from his side, right?? Anyway- Taj was colicky as a baby, and now, he’s just obnoxious yet cute enough to get away with it. (Say “obnoxious” like the fish on Finding Nemo. “I’m obnoxious!” The more you read my blog, the more you’ll see I’m a movie quote freak.) Taj’s newest thing is waking up in the middle of the nite crying for “choc nilk!” aka chocolate milk aka his only source of nutrients. Now, it wouldn’t be that bad, except he is SO stubborn (Again- Sei’s side…) and will cry for 25 minutes for choc nilk when we refuse to get it for him. We don’t want his teeth to rot out or his bladder to fill up. He’s not potty training yet, but he will be in the near future… I think. Anyway- he will wake up a couple of times a nite crying for milk. He wakes up more than the baby. Some nites it’s apparent to me why some people beat their children. But since I am not a child abuser, I don’t. But if I was, I would. (I’m totally kidding. Anal people with no sense of humor please do not report me to Child Protective Services.) I don’t know what to do. But then during the day he is so funny and sweet that I can’t help but to forgive and forget the psycho nites. Until about 2am when I am reminded again…

DISCLAIMER aka “Covering my butt”: All references made about Sei’s side of the family were all in fun. And for the record- I am just being sarcastic. Taj is awesome and the funniest kid. Yesterday he tried to pick up the wall and said it was “Too hea-by!!” (too heavy) And just now he ran in the room with a shirt on and nothing else, telling me about his “penuts.” Figure that one out on your own.