This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Last nite I had a dream. Most of the time I wake up and vaguely remember that “yes” I dreamed something but that’s about it. This morning I woke up thinking, “I love my husband!!!”  My dream sucked eggs big time. I don’t know all the circumstances surrounding the dream, but apparently Sei and I were divorcing or something. I just remember calling him “Babe” like I do all the time and he said, “You don’t get to call me Babe anymore.” I tried to kiss him later and he said, “You don’t get to kiss me.” And the way he said it broke.my.heart. I know I said something to him about him needing someone to watch Taj and Liv during the day. (I guess I lost custody.) and volunteered to do it and he told me I’d have to get a “real job.” WTH?!?!

I woke up STRESSED and CONFUSED. I didn’t know what the heck was goin’ on and I sure didn’t know *why* I had such a dream?!!? But I DO know that I love my husband and that small glimpse into life without him SUCKED. I don’t want to experience it ever. So Sei- I call dibs on dying first. Just sayin’…

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Y’all gon’a make me lose my mind up in HERE, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me go all out up in here, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me act a FOOL up in HERE, up in here
Y’all gon’ make me lose my cool up in here, up in here

(DMX – Party Up)

Let me preface this post by saying – I love Taj and Liv. I do. They are awesome and I am so thankful to have them. The summer Tristan, Alec and Isabel went to Texas and I was pregnant with Taj was the worst summer ever. I didn’t know what to do. I was bored to tears, lonely, and fat. I am so thankful I have Tajy and Livie & I don’t ever have to send them away to anyone for visitation. They’re awesome. But holy crap- I had forgotten what it’s like to have 2 small children- and no older ones. I’m so used to having and 3 year old and 17 month old at home during the day. But at 3pm I kinda get a break because the older kids come home from school. I take Izzy to gymnastics and can run to the grocery store without taking the little ones with me. There’s other kids home to take Taj outside to ride his bike, jump on the trampoline, play Transformers, etc…

The last 5 weeks with the older ones are gone…ugh. There is no 3pm break time. Whaa. I am so glad I only have 6 days until my kiddos come home. I am so bored. Sooooooooooo bored. And not motivated to do anything. (Except blog, but that’s important!) I don’t wanna cook dinner. I don’t wanna clean the house. I don’t wanna go outside- even with our new beautiful yard. I just wanna stay inside, drink diet Dr. Pepper, and sit on my butt. Could I be a little depressed? Quite possibly…
I’ve tried to be proactive and force myself out of the house. I signed Taj up for swim lessons and he absolutely loves it. Livie and I are taking a Mom & Me class. Holy Gay!! I feel so stupid singing “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” as we walk along the pool wall. And Livie senses the gayness because she screams the entire time. Not because she’s scared of the water, but because she wants me to put her down. Since we’re in 3 feet water I can’t put her down. We’ve left “class” everyday early to play in the shallow water. She’s in heaven. But then she goes psycho when it’s time to leave. So, yeah, that’s always fun.
The kids come back next Thursday. They fly in a little after noon and then Kelsea and Karlea arrive about 3 hours later. So, we’ll go from 2 to 7 kids. And I am SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT! Am I crazy? Maybe. I’m realizing that I’m just a lame little kid mom now. With the 1st three I didn’t know how awesome it could be to have older kids, so I rocked at being a little kid mom. We went to the library. We played at McDonalds. I made felt books! (When you read that say it like Lloyd on Dumb and Dumber “Our pets heads are fallin’ off!!) Yeah, well, I don’t know what happened to that mom. She got old I guess. Or figured out you could just buy felt books. You don’t have to make them…

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password: