So yesterday after I was done watching the kids I babysit we took the kiddos (all 7) + my lil sister (not so little- she’s 15) to the lake to swim, eat pizza, hang out. On the way there I was controlling the music because that’s what I do- control things. I love to play songs that drive Tristan, my 14 yr old, crazy. Which songs would that be, you ask?

• Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers
• The Thong Song by Sisqo
• Simple Kind of Life by No Doubt
• Summer Girls by LFO

WHY do these songs drive him crazy?? Oh, because he was just the cutest stinkin’ 5 year old back in the day that didn’t know any better than to “raise the roof” when The Thong Song came on. I’d look back in the backseat of the car and he was just ajammin’ away in his lil booster seat. SO.CUTE. Simple Kind of Life was a fave of mine and for some reason I made my poor kiddos act out the video. Hey, I was a weird, newly single mom. Acting out videos with my kids was entertainment to me. lol  And Tristan was so cute doing it!  Summer Girls… I think he just hates that because it says “New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits. Chinese food makes me sick…” The lyrics are so dumb, but I like it. My personal fave line “When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet. Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole buncha sonnets…” Ahh yeah…  Californication is a pretty cool song. Tdog is just embarrassed because when he was like 7 he’d say “Oh yeah Californication! This is my favorite song!!” and now, I tease him. That’s my job.

Some of y’all may be strokin’ out that I had my 5 yr old listening to The Thong Song, but we all know Taj can sing “Low” by Flo Rida and now Liv can not only sing “Teenage Dirtbag,” She also sings “Gives You Hell.” I should say what Isabel’s stepmom told her, “Are they cursing at us? That is NOT appropriate!” after Isabel told her “Gives You Hell” was a fave of mine. The stepmom promptly switched it to a Christian station. But you know… I’m good. I couldn’t call myself a brat if I did that.

Go ahead. Let me have it. Tell me what a bad mom I am…

Guess what made my nite last nite? Well, actually it probably wouldn’t be appropriate to talk about it on my blog, so I’ll tell you the OTHER thing that made my nite last nite. I’m walkin’ in to Kroger grocery store with Tristan when I see HIM. I see “Go Conner!” Remember “Go Conner!” from this post (a must read if you missed it)??? I was totally staring at him trying to figure out where I knew him from when I saw his sweat shirt- with his school’s name. I said, “Tristan it’s the whiny kid!!” And T said, “I know Mom. Please don’t say anything. Please don’t say anything…” as I said, “Amen Brutha!” I couldn’t help myself. Tristan just kept his head down like he was mortified.
I was like, “Come on Tristan. Did you really think I was gonna say anything to him?”

“You DID say something!”

“All I said was ‘Amen Brutha!’”

“And he LOOKED at you!”

“He did? Ah man. If I had known that I would have said more like ‘Hey there’s that whiny baby from H______. Remember when y’all totally won that game? Or, ‘hey kid. I blogged about you.’ Or I could have just waved my hand in front of my face and said ‘Boo ya!‘”

“Yeah, but then he would have just thought ‘That kid has to bring his retarded mom to the store.‘”

“True…”

GO CONNER!!

First things first- Everyone go wish Lauren a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! She is a woman. She is 21. HAPPY BIRTHDAY non-sister-in-law-that-should-have-been.
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Go see Nobo and congratulate her on her 1st MEAN ANONYMOUS COMMENT. Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. She said it was her bestest comment evoh- but I beg to differ. I’m pretty sure I leave the bestest comments evoh- always. But that’s ok…
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Y’all are lucky I am able to post. I totally lost my voice last nite yelling at Tristan’s game. (haha- I am so funny.) Anyway… They were up by 9 at half and by the end of the game they were about to lose. We had 3 steals on our press and got us within 1. With like 40 seconds left this kid on our team got fouled. He never makes his freethrows – or any other shot for that matter- but the kid made BOTH of his freethrows to put us up by 1. Anyway… in the end there was 6 seconds left and the other team’s ball. This kid drives and totally shoots his layup over the rim. It didn’t touch anything and our kid rebounded it and…. WE WON!! I was so stoked! Like, psycho-stoked! I turned around to their crowd- who were totally obnoxious btw- and was all like, “Boo- ya!!!” (My poor kids…) But seriously y’all – their crowd was BAD. I don’t like it when the adults are bangin’ on the bleachers tryin’ to make these 13 yr olds miss their freethrows. Not cool.
And so was this kid on their team. His name was “Go Conner!” or maybe just “Conner” but this lady kept yelling “Go Conner!!” I called him “Crybaby” because I am cool like that. He was whining and throwing fits over everything. Granted- the old man ref was kinda lame, but he was lame both ways for the most part. There was this one time when Go Conner was called for a foul. He was stompin’ around and gripin’ and someone yelled, “Horrible call Ref!!” and Go Conner turns around to the crowd and yells, “Amen Brutha!” Amen Brutha? I was embarrassed for him. So, being the mature person I am everytime he started whinin’ I’d start going, “Whaa. Whaa!” like a baby. Later the ref was basically tellin’ him to shut up and I said, “That’s right ref! Give ‘im his paci!” Get it- because babies use pacifiers? I crack myself up.
I’m sorry, but whining and bad sportsmanship on the court is one of my pet peeves. I told Tristan if I ever saw him whining around like that on the court I’d go to his coach and tell him to take him out because obviously it was past his bedtime. I would too and Tristan knows it. I can be obnoxious in the crowd, but I wasn’t EVER on the court. I never even really talked smack. It was more fun to watch the other team get all bent out of shape while I kept shootin’ nuthin’ but net. Anyway… Go Conner’s team lost and I was happy.

I kind of like it when kids act certain ways so I have examples to show my kids. Like there’s this one kid on Alec’s team who is pretty much the wimpiest kid I’ve ever met. My dad, God bless him, is so patient. (Now that he’s coaching his GRANDkid’s team and not mine.) He works with this kid and encourages him to not be wimpy in a nice way. But one time during a time out he was putting this kid in and he said, “Now are you gonna get in there and rebound!?!” like all pumped up and this kid just looked at him like he said it in French. So, my dad said it again, “Are you gonna get in there and rebound?!” and the kid said, “I’m not really that good at jumping and stuff…” Ok MY reaction would have been, “Then take your butt back to the bench.” but my dad said, “The most important thing to THINKING you can do it!! Get in there and tell yourself I CAN REBOUND.” (I am positive if I had told my dad what this kid said when he was coaching ME his reaction would have been, “Then take your butt back to the bench…” but whatev.) After the game I told my kids, “If I EVER hear you tell your coach you don’t think you can do it I will take you home right then and sign you up for chess club. I DO NOT have wimpy kids!! Got that??”

Am I mean?

The same kid fell in a game and limped all dramatic off the court. My dad told him to not sit down and walk it off during 1/2 time so his leg didn’t get stiff. What did Wimp Boy do? He walked over to his mommy in the crowd, sat down and cried. OMGosh. I was DYING. DYING y’all. I don’t do wimpy. I don’t. Ask Sei. I am the most unsympathetic caregiver ever. When Kelsea and Karlea were little EVERYTHING made them cry. They’d fall, a lot, and I’d say the same thing I do with my kids, “Hop back up. You’re ok.” and they were. They were fine. But the minute Daddy got home from work, 5 hours after they fell, they would run to him, crying about their huge “injury.” DROVE ME CRAZY. I think Sei thought I was mean, but I wasn’t. I just wasn’t gonna say, “Oh. Did you get a boo boo? Ooh, let me a waste put a Hello Kitty bandaid on NOTHING!! that massive boo boo. Poor poor poor poor baby!” Not gonna happen. And you know what? Now those girls fall and bounce back up like it’s nobody’s business! I take credit for that. (Not the falling, just the getting up.) I also moved the stool from the potty for them because they didn’t need it, had them stop sleeping in pullups and clean up their own wet sheets which in turn helped to sleep thru the nite without wetting their pants and I showed them they could indeed open the door like their cousin who was 18 months younger than them. I let them try, explore and yes, get skinned knees, and they are awesome and more independent because of it. They just needed someone to not hold their hand in every little thing. I think kids need that. They need someone to tell them to be tough. It’s like Izzy. This is her 1st year playing basketball and when she runs on the court she runs all timid and like something is stuck in her butt. I told her that. I told her, “You can beat all the boys in your class at school. You are so fast and so athletic. So why do you run like a pencil is in your butt on the court?” She didn’t cry. She laughed. And she practiced running hard and being tough. See- she’s not warped. And that didn’t really have anything to do with the wimpy boy on Alec’s team. I am rambling…

So, anyway… I am thankful for wimpy kids, whiney kids, bad teen drivers, etc… that I can point out to my kids and say, “That kind of behavior is not gonna cut it.” So, thank you parents who let your kids act like wimps, babies, etc… so I can show my kids what not to be.
Can I get an “AMEN Brutha!! Sista!!” ????

Or am I mean?