Thank you all for your “Get Well Wishes.” I am feeling about 90% back to normal, so that’s a huge improvement. Kelsea and Isabel are outside playing as I type. So- YAY!

Ok, now for the reason for my title. Sei and I rented the Sandra Bullock movie “Premonition.” I admit, I can be an obnoxious person to watch a movie with. If I’ve seen it before then I’m quoting it the entire time and if I haven’t seen it and I don’t understand it I am totally irritated and asking questions. I didn’t get “Premonition.” The whole time I was trying to put all the pieces together and when I finally did (SPOILER)- her freakin’ husband died anyway and it was her fault because she told him to turn around. Whaaa??? That sucked, but that’s not the part that bothered me the most. I was so disturbed by this movie that I was crying- hard- afterwards. Why? Because her husband was on his way to meet a woman he planned to have an affair with and on his way there he realized he was stupid, called the chick and told her he wasn’t coming, called his wife to tell her he loved her, then he died. I’m probably just confusing you, just as I was confusing Sei as I laid there and cried- hard. It’s no secret that I am easily warped by movies. But this one depressed me. I’ll do my best to explain…

As I laid there after watching that stupid movie all I could think about was 2 things: 1) I don’t think I could live if Sei died. 2) I think I would rather him die than to learn he was cheating on me.
I’ve never made it a secret that my 1st husband cheated on me- a bunch of times with the same woman (and possibly with others before her). So, I know how I felt then. But I also know I love Sei so much more and in a different way than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life. I wouldn’t want to know what it would feel like to learn something like that about Seiuli. I know I won’t ever have to. I truly trust him with ALL my heart. I know he loves me. He shows me & tells me continuously each day. So, really this is a non-issue that my warped brain makes an issue.
I can honestly say I hold nothing against my ex for cheating on me. What good would it do to waste energy on that? My issues with him stem directly from his role as a parent. But I hate that his actions changed me in such a way that even when I try my hardest not to think EVERY woman in the world is out to steal my husband, I still do think that. (Well, not EVERY woman. Just any that come in contact with my husband. haha)
I guess I don’t really have a point. It was just another lame movie where the guy sucked. I mean, yes, his marriage was kinda crappy, but that’s still not the way to “fix it.” Duh. And then to top it off- on Army Wives, Roland full on cheated on his wife in a steamy love scene. Bad! Bad Roland!!! (Even though I think your wife if lame, you still DON’T CHEAT!!)

As most of y’all know, I was married before as was my husband. We both have children from these marriages. We married each other almost 6 years ago and it’s been RAD. But let me tell ya, the first couple of years were a huge adjustment. It almost seems that the people who had the hardest time adjusting weren’t the kids or Seiuli or myself. It was all the outside people- extended family and whatnot. Divorces and remarriages happen in almost every family at some point, so as a public service I am going to name a few things that the family and friends of the newly re-married should and should not say or do. (I’ll be giving it from MY point of view, as the woman marrying into a family, but it can work both ways.) I’m not bitter (anymore) and none of these things have taken place in years and some never actually happened to me. I just thought it could be helpful.

• Do not introduce me to people as the “new wife” as I stand there with 5 kids. I’m not a car. He didn’t trade in the old one for a new one. I’m his wife. If you’re going to add an adjective in front of the word “wife” just say “beautiful” or “hot” or “thin”…
• Do not say things like “You don’t need to have a big reception because he had a big one last time.” Um, ok. Should we just hang up pics from our other weddings and call it good? I guess could ask No Cool Story to Photoshop them. And while we’re at it- why have children? Why have $ex? We’ve both done that before too…
• Do call me by the correct name. For example, do not call me his ex’s name or by my old last name. Try hard to address me by my married name. It will show us that you have moved on just as we have.
• Do not constantly compare me to the old spouse. Even if you’re trying to compliment me. And no, I don’t want to see pictures or old videos!!!
• Do not tell me my children with my husband look like his children from his other marriage. If this is the case then most likely his other children look like him. Just say our children look like him. No offense to anyone, but I don’t want to hear my kids look like another woman’s- unless the other woman is my mom. Guys don’t care quite as much… in fact, Sei thinks I’m totally retarded. Hell, Maybe I am…
• Do not keep an old wedding picture hanging in your living room for your daughter’s husband to see. In fact, do not leave any pictures of the ex hanging anywhere for your daughter’s husband to see. (and vice versa)
• You are not required to remove all pictures of the ex in photo albums, etc… as it may be years and years of pictures. (Although my sister in law did remove all the old pics. Or actually Sei did with his niece’s help.)
• Be respectful of the children in a intergrated family. Do not ask in front of all the children “Ok, so which one are yours??” This doesn’t refer to every case, but in my case Isabel was 2 when I married Sei. She’s never known anyone as her daddy but Seiuli. So when people ask him “Which girls are yours?” he always replies “They all are.” If you don’t know how integrated the family is or the circumstances of the “step” children and their biological fathers, then don’t ask things like that in front of them. Isabel always gets a little more clingy to Seiuli after situations like this. She wants to be “his” too.
• Unless you’re actually a close friend and you know all the crap that has gone on with exes, don’t constantly ask what’s going on with his/my ex. We try not to think about them if we don’t have to…

Man, I know there are so many more things I could list. I’m just drawing a blank… I’m sure I’ll have more to add by the end of this reunion… hee hee;)

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