September 11, 2001 is a date none of us will ever forget- at least we shouldn’t. It changed all of us to some extent. I know that day all I wanted was to be married to Seiuli. We were engaged, but now it seemed more important for him to be my husband. We eloped Sept. 14, 2001. I am proud to be an American and I am so grateful for our troops and their sacrifice. But I think over the years although never forgetting 9/11, I didn’t do all the things I told myself I would after that day. I was going to be a better person, a better mom, an awesome wife, a great Christian… my existence was going to matter and make a difference. 9 years later I know I haven’t lived up to those plans. I am struggling with my relationship with God. Not because He pulled away from me, but because I pulled away from Him. I was angry for our trials last year of being sued by both exes, not seeing my step-daughters for over a year, blaming God for our move to Texas and hating it here. I felt like he had left our family and now I know that’s not true. He never leaves.

Today as I took the kids to the airport to greet the returning troops I thought about my life and how I’ve managed to screw it up. I’ve been thinking about it a lot the last few weeks and slowly I’ve been trying to adjust my attitude. I’ve been reading the scriptures. I’ve opened up to Sei about my struggling- which he could already see. Apparently my fake smile doesn’t work on him… But then today, after watching videos of 9/11 news reports, etc… it hit me: I have been so selfish and self-absorbed.  It makes me think of that quote on Robin Hood that Morgan Freeman says to Kevin Costner (and I say to my kids all.the.time),  “You whine like a mule. You are still alive.”  I AM still alive. I have a 2nd chance (or more like 4,000th chance) to make this right! To live right! I wonder how many of the people in the Twin Towers had plans to live a better life? The fallen firemen,  police men, soldiers? They don’t have that chance. I do.  So, I am officially ending the Tori Pity Party. It’s not going to be easy. I still have a lot of pain and anger to work thru. But now I’ve decided to let God help me thru it. He wants to, I just have to ask.

How lame is it that it took 3000+ people dying 9 years ago and thousands of soldiers dying in war to get my head on straight?

God bless the victims of 9/11. God bless the soldiers. And God bless America.

We’re planning a trip this summer that will take us thru Arizona. I told my husband from the very beginning that we will be staying in Arizona at least one nite and buying souvenirs as well. I’m on a BUYcott for Az., rather than a BOYcott. I feel strongly about a lot of things: littering, bullies, being honest with your kids, etc… but I rarely get involved in political things. I mean, I’ll post about them, but that’s about it. NOT this time. I am ALL FOR S.B. 1070. You may have gathered that from the other posts I’ve written. I am not against people looking for a better way of life.  That’s fine. But you do it THE RIGHT WAY. This would not be the right way:

Examples of THE RIGHT WAY:

You work hard.

You pay taxes.

You follow the laws.

You are self-reliant- don’t come looking for a handout.

You don’t trash our country.

You respect the land you are in and the country you so want to be a part of.

And you write your freakin’ rally signs in ENGLISH and you wave an AMERICAN flag.

I am not racist. This isn’t a RACE issue. (In fact, people often confuse RACE and ETHNICITY, but that’s another post.)  My 3 oldest children’s race is Caucasian, but  for arguments sake they are 1/2 whatever.  Their bio-dad is of “Hispanic origin”- but he, his parents, his grandparents and GREAT- grandparents were all born in the USA. Not that that is saying much since his siblings and himself are the only ones that speak correct (and that’s an exaggeration) English. But that’s not the point. My kids are 1/2 and my 2 youngest are 1/4 Samoan.  My man is 1/2 . My SIL is Hispanic. BIL is from Mexico. His brother, who is married to an American and has been here forever working legally and being a great person, was deported because of a screw up with his visa. He was actually at the immigration office to make sure his visa was all good and they realized there was a clerical error and held him right then and there.  He was separated from his pregnant (with twins) wife and missed the birth of his daughters. After the birth, his American wife and daugters had to move to Mexico to be with him until the paper mess was worked out. They are back now. I was so pissed and frustrated with that whole situation because here was a good guy, working hard, speaking English better than some people born and raised here, being a productive person and he gets deported because paperwork got messed up. Yet, there are others here, not even trying to GET paperwork, breaking the law, waving not USA flags, etc… and they are still here. That’s wrong. I also have several friends who have become US citizens in the last 10 years or so who are more American than a lot of natural born citizens.  My point is that I’m not walking around pointing at people, “He’s brown. Kick him out. She said ‘eh. Kick her out.” And that’s not what SB 1070 says to do either.

Moving on.  This picture pissed me off.

You know why? The sign that says, “We are all immigrants.”

Then I saw this shirt:

Um, REALLY??  I know I didn’t come over on a boat.  No one in the last 10 generations on my mom’s side and 6 generations on my dad’s side has come over on a boat. We were all born here. 10 generations y’all. It’s been 300 years since someone on my mom’s side immigrated to America. His name was Daniel McDaniel and he came over from Scotland. But I am not Scottish-American. I am American by birth… and Texan by the grace of God. I would never in a million years think to introduce myself as “Scottish-American.” Why would I? I’ve never even been to Scotland. And you know what? NONE of my family says they are Scottish-American. We don’t wave Scottish flags. We don’t celebrate made up Scottish holidays and get offended when others wave US flags on “our” day. My ancestor, Martin Anthony, came from Germany about 200 years ago. I’m not German-American. I don’t like Dirk because he’s German so we have so much in common. I AM AN AMERICAN. Period. So, unless you actually immigrated here stop saying “we are all immigrants” because it’s an ignorant argument.  By definition an immigrant is one who comes from another country to take up permanent residence. Because we have immigration laws in our country, coming here without following the law makes you an ILLEGAL immigrant- I don’t care what country you came from.  You know why we have immigration laws? Because the Indians didn’t. Yeah, I like the shirt I saw that said: Ask an Indian what happens when you don’t control immigration. Oh, and just FYI: the “Native Americans” weren’t the 1st people here either. People have been coming in and out for 1000 years. Just sayin’. Vikings need love too.

Sure, this country was founded by immigrants. Of course it was- most countries were!  People have immigrated in and out forever.  But to say you’re an immigrant when you aren’t one is ignorant. My dad’s a CPA. Does that make me one? I have a lot of school teachers in my family, so… I’m one too? 6 and 10 generations ago my brave ancestors left their home, traveled to America and EMBRACED this great country.  I feel to piggy-back on their courage and desire for a better life in this “new world” is wrong. They blessed my family by coming here and I will live as a PROUD AMERICAN to honor their bravery and sacrifice.

Immigration laws were created to protect us- the people LEGALLY living in the USA. They are designed to help protect us from disease, from job loss,  increase our personal safety and national security.  They don’t trample on anyone’s “rights” because if you are here illegally you don’t have those rights. Federal law since 1940 has said if you are an immigrant you need to carry your papers with you. And if you’re here legally then there is nothing to worry about.  If you are here illegally, well then “ILLEGALLY’ would be the key word….

And… I’m done… for now. I have so much to say but this post could go on and on forever. I love America. I am a PROUD American . I am thankful for our troops. I am thankful for my ancestors. God bless America.

The day after 9/11, stranded Americans congregate outside Buckingham Palace in London, England. They can’t go home because a no-fly order is in operation. The Queen orders the Guards to play the Star Spangled Banner as a sign of the UK’s sympathy for the USA. Even Prince Andrew can be seen stood to attention.
An astonishing departure from tradition, Brits are also moved to tears when this clip is televised.

I remember this and I’m still moved to tears. God bless America.