Taj turned 8 years old on Sept. 6. This was a special birthday because in our church the age of 8 is the age you are baptized at. Baptism is a covenant we make to follow Jesus Christ throughout our lives. When we are baptized, we take Christ’s name upon us. As Christians, we seek to follow Him in all aspects of our lives. You can read more about what we believe HERE.

Taj made the decision to be baptized and I am so proud of him for this!! Sei’s parents were able to come from California. Seiuli played a beautiful rendition he arranged of “A Child’s Prayer“, Alec spoke about baptism… I really loved the song we sang at the end- Taj picked it. (“If I Listen with my Heart”)  It was beautiful all around. I am continuously surprised by how blessed I have been when it comes to my children. I am not perfect, but I do my best. And thankfully they are such good, GOOD kids.

I heard this story once told by Thomas S. Monson:

A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash.

“That laundry’s not clean!” Lisa exclaimed. “Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!”

John looked on but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments.

A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, “Look, John—she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.”

John replied, “Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!”

I thought this was a cool story. How often are we (and by “we” I mean “me”) looking thru a dirty window? So busy finding others “faults” and pointing out their “weaknesses” while ignoring our own? I try to pride myself on not being judgmental. That’s not saying it doesn’t happen– but I make a conscious effort to stop myself from judging even if I’ve already started. I like to apply the “Maybe his sister died today…” method. Seriously. When my sister died I remember walking in a daze thru Walmart thinking, “How are all these people going on like nothing happened today!!!” I am sure I was possibly rude to someone, ignored someone talking to me, made a mean face at someone… who knows what else… without even realizing I had done it. I hope if I offended someone during that time that they forgive me. I was having a really bad day. I like to try to give others the benefit of the doubt. Yes, when someone’s rude to me it makes a funny Facebook status, but do I dwell on it and wish that person ill-will? Psh, no. I have better things to do with my energy.

A HUGE pet peeve of mine is when others judge by outward appearance. We are all guilty of it. I mean, tattoos = TRASH, right? haha I, personally, find tattoos beautiful and love when they tell a story. If I could I would have a ton. I mean, I CAN, but quite honestly I don’t want the judgmental comments or looks I know I would receive- especially at church. The one place you should be judged the least is often where people are the harshest. I think it’s a self-esteem issue. If others seem worse than you it makes you better… or something like that. I couldn’t care less if you have tats or if your hair is blue (I have blue streaks in mine…) or if you have a big nose ring.  If that’s the way you like to express yourself, more power to you for not conforming. Who am I to judge?

There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: “Judge not.”….

– Thomas S. Monson

Often I hear people complain or put down people that are doing their best in a job at church or school. They think they could do better or that someone else should be doing the job. When we speak unkind of others efforts or pass judgment for their work or their looks who looks uglier? The movie “Shallow Hal” is a silly move with a really awesome message. In the movie, Hal is a shallow guy who thinks he is God’s gift to women, only deserves a super model and makes fun of those that are overweight, not beautiful in the world’s eyes, etc…  He is basically put under a spell so he sees only the inner beauty of people rather than the outer. Beauty is based on others attitudes, good deeds, kindness, etc… He is dating a girl who is actually not physically attractive according to the world’s standards, but her inner beauty is Gwyneth Paltrow.  This quote goes perfectly with the “Shallow Hal” message:

I ask: if attitudes, deeds, and spiritual inclinations were reflected in physical features, would the countenance of the woman who complained be as lovely as that of the woman she criticized?

– Thomas S. Monson

 

We are all different. We all look different, think differently and have different challenges. None of us are perfect. Life is hard enough. Why make it harder on others by judging? Obviously judging is necessary when it comes to personal safety, etc… I’m talking about judging and speaking harshly of others because they are different than you or because you think you or someone else could do the task at hand better. I know that I am cleaning my windows today, removing the beam from my own eye and making a promise to judge less and love more.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

– Mother Teresa

Bear with me– this post is kind of all over the place.

Someone said something at church this week that has got me thinking. She said something along the lines of, “We are so blessed to be in the gospel where so many of our decisions are already made for us. We have it so easy.” Say what? I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever seen it that way. Ever. And I don’t think the Church intends it to be that way either. The Church wants us to think for ourselves and then CHOOSE to live a virtuous, honest, good life. I don’t like to have decisions made for me. I never have. It’s no secret that growing up I was in trouble a lot. I’m not sure why. I think it’s just in the way I’m wired. I tend to rebel against being told “no.” And then I was raised LDS (aka “Mormon”) which is kinda like “Haha! Joke’s on you Tori!!”  I was told we “didn’t do” certain things because “it’s wrong.”  After the age of probably 12 the whole “You’re making Jesus sad” thing didn’t work for me.  If I was told not to do it, I did it. Ok, not EVERYTHING. In most aspects, I was a “typical teenager.” But as an LDS teenager I was a hellion. But what’s funny is so many of the things I ”did” I didn’t really do. People talked about me. My parents thought they “knew” everything I did. I still remember the rumor that ”Tori did it on a heater in a trailer.”  That was a funny rumor considering I only kissed that boy. But that rumor went thru the school so rampantly that even my friend’s mom heard it and said something to her about “…Tori doing it on a TV…” My friend and I still use the code “watched TV” for $ex 20 years later because of her mom. It wasn’t true, but even at that age I didn’t give a crap if people wanted to spread stupid rumors because quite simply- THEY WEREN’T TRUE. Period. If people wanted to think I did it on a heater, um, ok? I’m not sure how that would work or how comfortable that would be, but whatever. I knew I just kissed the boy and that was all that mattered. It wasn’t my job to tell people to stop being losers and believing lies and passing on garbage. People who were really my friends asked me straight up if it was true or already knew it wasn’t. I’ve always felt that way. I don’t even know all the things people or my family think I did. For the most part, I am willing to bet it wasn’t true. For most of high school I worked 30 hours a week, went to school (kinda) and played basketball. Not a lot of time left for anything else… When I wasn’t in school or playing bball I worked 40 hours a week. I was messed up in the head (still am) for a lot of different reasons that will probably never be addressed. I’m sure everyone thought my actions were because of the drugs I was using. Too bad I wasn’t using drugs.

Anyway, that’s not really the point of this post. I’ve just been thinking about how judgemental people can be and how rumors get spread so quickly. A kid I know is being judged and talked about right this minute. I can put his name in the search engine on Facebook and click “posts by everyone” and a post is added every few minutes about this kid. One post even said this kid was Canadian. I’m positive he is not. Where that came from I’m not sure?!  The percentage of correct information I’ve read about him is probably right about 20%. That’s a lot of wrong information floating around. And not just about HIM, but about the situation in general. It’s really made me more aware of what comes out of my mouth. I’m not a big gossiper anyway and really for the most part I’m a positive person who likes to assume the best or give people the benefit of the doubt. I don’t like people to be hurt or sad or to feel hated. I’ve been there. I guess you could say I brought the gossip and judgement upon myself with my actions, but really, did I? When is it ok to judge? When is it ok to exaggerate stories or flat out lie? Obviously we need to use smart judgment when it comes to making friends or deciding if you want your children going over to a certain house, etc… It’s necessary in everyday life. But at what point does the judging become being judgemental? And is gossip ever ok?

“While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard; … He holds the reins of judgment in His hands; He is a wise Lawgiver, and will judge all men, … ‘not according to what they have not, but according to what they have,’ those who have lived without law, will be judged without law, and those who have a law, will be judged by that law.”

- Joseph Smith

Taj is our little guy who seems to be extra sensitive to spiritual matters. He gives loooong, meaningful prayers. He loves to answer questions at church with detailed explanations. He loves telling scripture stories and does well relating them to his life. He’s just a really special boy. On Saturday we had an activity at the church. They had the 7 year olds who are turning 8 this year meet in a room so they could talk to them more about baptism. One of the teachers was passing out booklets about baptism. On the front of the booklet there was a picture of a birthday cake. The teacher made a comment something along the lines of, “Everybody loves birthday cake! It’s the best gift ever!” Now, I wasn’t in the room because Livie was having a meltdown, but when I returned a mom told me that Taj raised his hand and said,

“Um, actually, the best gift ever was Jesus Christ.”

I was proud, impressed and POSITIVE he gets that  from his dad.

Whenever the cold hand of death strikes, there shines through the gloom and the darkness of that hour the triumphant figure of the Lord Jesus Christ, He, the Son of God, who by his matchless and eternal power overcame death. He is the Redeemer of the world. He gave His life for each of us. He took it up again and became the firstfruits of them that slept. He, as King of Kings, stands triumphant above all other kings. He, as the Omnipotent One, stands above all rulers. He is our comfort, our only true comfort, when the dark shroud of earthly night closes about us as the spirit departs the human form.

Towering above all mankind stands Jesus the Christ, the King of glory, the unblemished Messiah, the Lord Emmanuel. In the hour of deepest sorrow we draw hope and peace and certitude from the words of the angel that Easter morning, “He is not here: for he is risen, as he said” (Matt. 28:6). We draw strength from the words of Paul, “As in Adam all die, even so in Christ … all [are] made alive” (1 Cor. 15:22)…

He is our King, our Lord, our Master, the living Christ, who stands on the right hand of His Father. He lives! He lives, resplendent and wonderful, the living Son of the living God. Of this we bear solemn testimony this day of rejoicing, this Easter morning, when we commemorate the miracle of the empty tomb, in the name of Him who rose from the dead, even the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

You know when you have a realization, out of the blue, and it’s like a litebulb has turned on? I had one of those this weekend. I was at a training conference for Mary Kay all weekend. I love my Mary Kay meetings because it’s ME time, I always leave uplifted and motivated. This weekend was no different- only better. But the litebulb moment was close to the end of the conference. I was quickly taking notes while a National Sales Director spoke. I had a special notebook with a cute pen and it hit me, “Do I ever take notes at church?” I am at church every week, studying the life of my Savior, and I rarely take notes. What the heck am I thinking? Usually I am just happy to make it to church on time with all my kids in tow and I often say, “I didn’t get anything out of church today!” But you know why? I don’t think I’m really listening. I’m just there, going thru the motions, taking up space, and usually a bit frazzled. So, this Sunday I made sure I was more prepared so I could get to church on time without a mad rush. I brought a notebook and took notes. Nothing in particular, just anything that jumped out to ME. And it made such a difference. I left feeling like I had learned something. I left feeling like I had done more than just take up space. Wow. Duh!! And wow- the choir’s number was A.MA.ZING. I had chills all over. It was beautiful. It touched me.

So, I am excited to take notes in the future. To find things in the talks I hear that speak to me. I am excited to “get” something out of church. I am excited to prepare myself more so I am ready to receive those things. I am happy to actually care. The past year or so I haven’t cared. I have been so unhappy and lost. More lost and out of hope than I think I’ve ever felt.  More than during my divorce. More than when my sister died- which is hard for me to comprehend- but I was so out of hope. I am happy to be out of that place. There’s still crap going on, but it will be easier to get thru and accept now that I see a lite again.

** Spring break was great!! I had such a wonderful time with my family. We went to a lake house on Lake Texoma.  It was so nice to be away from everything. We had very little cell phone service, no computer, nada. I LOVED IT. We shot bb guns, played board games, just hung out… together. My sister and her kids came up on Tuesday to hang out. She took lots of pics… and they are still on her camera. When I get them from her I will post them. Thank you, again, Patti and family for hookin’ us up with a great deal at the lake!!!!

** Today we had a special meeting for church. Elder Dallin H. Oaks came to speak to us. It was awesome. He was funny and down to earth. I loved his message. Sei worked on the security detail so he was actually allowed to save us seats- which wasn’t allowed. I felt like a VIP walking to our seats and getting to sit in saved seats with 200 people having to sit behind us. I wonder what they were thinking… haha  Anyway, Elder Oaks came around and shook our hands. He came to me and said, “I shook your hand already, right?” and I said, “I carried a watermelon.” WHAT MOVIE!? Just kidding, I didn’t say that. I said, “No, not yet.” so he said, “Welcome to conference!” and shook my hand, while placing his hand on my right shoulder. Then he shook hands with Tristan, Alec, my mom and sister. Seiuli actually got to hang out with him for a while after the meeting since Sei was his bodyguard. They’re tight like that. haha Anyway… the points I took down from his talk were basically: DON’T BE STUPID and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS.  Pretty cut and dry. I loved his stories and his sense of humor. He is REAL and he is called of God.

** In the last year it seems like the only posts I did on my blog were either for money or for bitching. It’s been a rough year. But I am finally feeling like myself again!!!! I am stoked! It’s hard to lose yourself and total control of your life. I’m glad to be back.

My in-laws worked hard calling day and nite to encourage support for Prop 8. They donated money they didn’t have. They fought for what they believe in: Marriage has been and always should be between a man and a woman. They also have a gay son. They have never shown him anything but love. They did not picket his hangouts. They did not wave signs that said “Fag scum!” They didn’t vandalize his home, sign, car, or place of worship. Now please, define “hate” and “intolerance” for me again???