Ok, so… It’s time for a Tad Award. BIG TIME. As y’all know I have babysat multiple children in my home for the last 2 years. Sometimes I really enjoyed it and other times, as it is with parenting, I was going crazy.  Last year was a tough year with all the court cases and I really battled some with depression. I felt a little isolated because I was always at home with little kids. I think any stay at home mom feels that way at times. Even not stay at home moms feel that way I’m sure. So anyway… I gave my notice to the 2 moms I babysit for. I gave them SEVEN weeks notice because I honestly wanted them to be able to find someone they trust and feel comfortable leaving their child with. I thought 7 weeks was plenty and I also thought the letter I wrote explained my feelings – I admitted I was a bit burnt out and that I wanted to be able to spend more time with Liv before she starts school.  I also told them that with how I felt I knew I couldn’t be the best caregiver. I thought honesty would be best.

Well, then Alec got sick. He was diagnosed on Saturday with strep AND mono. He’s been out of school all week and basically doesn’t leave the couch. He’s on Omnicef and steroids. We had to take him back to the dr. today to get an antibiotic shot and a steroid shot. He’s so miserable. So, obviously I couldn’t be watching kids with Alec so sick and so contagious. I let the moms know.  One mom was awesome. She’s been awesome the entire time I’ve watched her kid. She always paid right on time. She was very easy going when I had to take a day off or had an appointment so someone else watched her daughter, etc…  She now has her daughter staying with a friend I recommended.

The other mom… not so awesome. She has lied to me and used me. She has asked me to not cash her checks until like 5 days after she paid me, text me at 6am to tell me she’s bringing her son early,  etc… And I was always accommodating to her because I felt bad since she went thru a divorce in the last year. Plus, I love her son. I’ve watched him since he was 3 months old- he turned 2 in Dec. Well, apparently my notice pissed her off. I kind of expected it since she told me before that she wanted me to watch him until he went to kindergarten. I never said that would happen since he’s 2 years younger than Liv. But anyway… I thought with 7 weeks notice she wouldn’t be as mad. She had to leave her son with her dad all this week and today I get an email from her. I won’t post the whole email here, but these are a few parts (names have been changed):

What bothered me most about your letter was that you said you’ve been feeling burned out for a month or so.  The way you worded it came across to me as you had been discussing this with R*** since you gave me her letter by mistake.  If you felt that way, I wish you would have mentioned this sooner.  I don’t want “Billy” somewhere he is not wanted or somewhere where he is being neglected because you are stressed out.  I don’t mean to sound tacky to you in regards to this at all.  I’m just saying, it concerns me. (For the record I told her in OCTOBER I was feeling a little burnt out.)

“Billy” has been staying with my dad and the difference in his attitude and overall behavior and happiness is amazing this week.  He’s been in the best mood I have ever seen him in.  That tells me a few things.  Either you are correct and he has not been getting the attention he needs and/or he’s not happy there.

Um, ok. How am I suppose to interpret that? It really hurt my feelings when I read it. And I kinda went off on her. Not as much as I wanted to because really I don’t like to be mean. But whatever. She got my email and said that I was SO MEAN and that she’s glad she found that out now. Puh-lease. I’ve taken great care of her child for 2 years and one email response after she attacked me means I’m “mean”??? She said she wasn’t disrespectful to me at all. Um???  She even had the nerve to say “I’m pretty sure that’s not the way your God would want you to treat people.  I have never insulted you in such a way.”
WTH? I wasn’t even “mean” but I did throw a few shots in- but they were totally true. She was just hateful because she’s mad she didn’t get her way.  Her ex-husband was mortified by how she treated me and called me apologizing profusely. I was really upset- crying upset. I don’t like to be mean. I don’t like to hurt others feelings. I am a very nice person. But man, I don’t like to feel used or attacked.

So, that’s it. She and other mean, selfish people get a TAD award. Unfortunately it doesn’t make me feel any better to give it out.

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I wrote this post 2 years ago, but I’m going to repost it today because something that happened to Isabel yesterday reminded me of it:

Originally posted August 10, 2007:

Tonite I had a case of deja vu. (Say that like Sloth saying “BA-BY RUUUUTH.”) My butt was kicked clear back to a basketball tournament in the 8th grade. At the tournament I was hyper and acting like a goofy 13 year old I’m sure. I was all sweaty and what not, too. I asked a boy- I think he was from another school- a question. I don’t remember what is was. But I do remember his answer. He just looked at me and said, “Man, you are ugly.” I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I think my brilliant comeback was, “No I’m not!!” (Yeah. Good one Tori. “That’s what you are but what am I??? LOSER!!)

Well, tonite Tristan called from his youth activity asking me to bring his scout shirt. We had been out all evening and just dropped him off for scouts without it. I threw on my flip flops and my Longhorn hat and cruised up to the church. When I got there 3 boys ranging in ages probably 12-14 were riding around in the parking lot on their bikes. When I got out of the car I clearly heard one boy say, “Holy cow! She is uuuuugly!!” I assumed they were talking about someone else because I’m so hawt! Then I heard another say, “Yeah she is! Whoa.” I looked around and didn’t see any other person, let alone female, in the near vacinity. They were talking about me. I just ignored them and ran the shirt in. When I came back outside one of the punks was parked close to my Yukon. He full on stared at me and then rode around to his friends while he said, really loudly, “Man, beyond ugly!!” I was stunned. I couldn’t think of one smart-a$$ comment to throw back at him- and that’s rare for me. I’m full of smart-a$$ comments! Where was ElasticWaistbandLady when I need her??? I just got in my car and backed out full speed hoping one of the buttheads was just a little too close to my bumper. Then I could jump out when he’s face down on the ground, 1/2 his face torn off, bleeding profusely and yell, “Who’s ugly now?!? Bawahahahaha!!”

I drove home and was totally surprised by how I felt. I felt like crying. Why? Like I give a crap what some pre-pubescent kid thinks about me. Why was he looking at an old lady anyway?? Weirdo. But apparently I did care. I don’t know why. Maybe because I have a 12 year old and I don’t want to be one of those ugly, frumpy, embarrassing moms. Or maybe because I don’t want anyone to think I’m ugly. I don’t know. But it hurt my feelings. Stupid, I know. And I’m 1/2 joking as I type this. But, dude. What is up with obnoxious, rude kids?? Those boys are the ones that will have girls starving themselves or worse because some butthead told them they’re ugly. It makes me mad. And it makes me think I should have aimed better when I backed out.
——————-
Now for what happened to trigger my memory of that old post…. Yesterday Isabel got off the bus after school and she told me, “When I was getting off a boy told me that pretty people go first, so he let me go in front of him. But then I heard someone say ‘Yeah, if you get rid of the bucked teeth and glasses…” She didn’t know who said it because they were behind her. It just broke my heart to hear that. Here she is, my 10 year old beautiful girl, and these jerk kids with no manners or consideration for other’s feelings, broke her heart. I wanted to punch the twerp in the face! Girls are so sensitive at that age anyway, but to have kids make fun of something you’re already sensitive about… makes me so sad. Isabel is beautiful- even with her overbite and glasses and I hate that I wasn’t there to kick some butt and take some names. SEE- she’s beautiful: 

So, to that rude, rude kid: You get a Tad Award. What’s that you ask? It’s an award I made up that I give out to jerks. Rude people. Lame people. You.

Tonite I had a case of deja vu. (Say that like Sloth saying “BA-BY RUUUUTH.”) My butt was kicked clear back to a basketball tournament in the 8th grade. At the tournament I was hyper and acting like a goofy 13 year old I’m sure. I was all sweaty and what not, too. I asked a boy- I think he was from another school- a question. I don’t remember what is was. But I do remember his answer. He just looked at me and said, “Man, you are ugly.” I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I think my brilliant comeback was, “No I’m not!!” (Yeah. Good one Tori. “That’s what you are but what am I??? LOSER!!)

Well, tonite Tristan called from his youth activity asking me to bring his scout shirt. We had been out all evening and just dropped him off for scouts without it. I threw on my flip flops and my Longhorn hat and cruised up to the church. When I got there 3 boys ranging in ages probably 12-14 were riding around in the parking lot on their bikes. When I got out of the car I clearly heard one boy say, “Holy cow! She is uuuuugly!!” I assumed they were talking about someone else because I’m so hawt! Then I heard another say, “Yeah she is! Whoa.” I looked around and didn’t see any other person, let alone female, in the near vacinity. They were talking about me. I just ignored them and ran the shirt in. When I came back outside one of the punks was parked close to my Yukon. He full on stared at me and then rode around to his friends while he said, really loudly, “Man, beyond ugly!!” I was stunned. I couldn’t think of one smart-a$$ comment to throw back at him- and that’s rare for me. I’m full of smart-a$$ comments! Where was ElasticWaistbandLady when I need her??? I just got in my car and backed out full speed hoping one of the buttheads was just a little too close to my bumper. Then I could jump out when he’s face down on the ground, 1/2 his face torn off, bleeding profusely and yell, “Who’s ugly now?!? Bawahahahaha!!”

I drove home and was totally surprised by how I felt. I felt like crying. Why? Like I give a crap what some pre-pubescent kid thinks about me. Why was he looking at an old lady anyway?? Weirdo. But apparently I did care. I don’t know why. Maybe because I have a 12 year old and I don’t want to be one of those ugly, frumpy, embarrassing moms. Or maybe because I don’t want anyone to think I’m ugly. I don’t know. But it hurt my feelings. Stupid, I know. And I’m 1/2 joking as I type this. But, dude. What is up with obnoxious, rude kids?? Those boys are the ones that will have girls starving themselves or worse because some butthead told them they’re ugly. It makes me mad. And it makes me think I should have aimed better when I backed out.