My kids are funny. They are. They so totally rock and I love being with them. Alec is a lot like Sei. He’s very social and funny and sensitive. I love it. Last week he got to give a talk during church. When Tristan spoke last year we had the BIG DARE where we dared Tristan to use a Napoleon Dynamite quote during his talk. He is awesome and did it, of course. This time was Alec’s turn. He SOOOOOO did it. He even talked LIKE Napoleon. He started his talk with a (true) story. He said, “I went to scout camp this past week and it was pretty much the hottest week of my life. My lips got really chapped so I was digging thru my bag hoping my mom packed me chapstick. I found a ziplock bag that had this Napoleon quote written on it: CAN YOU BRING ME MY CHAPSTICK?… BUT MY LIPS HURT REAL BAD! “   It was rad and everyone laughed. So cool. I, of course, was the dork who wrote that on the ziplock that I packed his chapstick in. Yesssssssssssssssss.

And then today at church there was a special musical number this lady and her daughter were singing. The prelude music for it totally sounded like “The Rose” by Bette Midler. Sei leaned over and said, “I thought it was The Rose.” Then I look over at Alec and he’s doing his hands like a butterfly…. like at the end of this video (around 1:00). He had me rollin’…

How’d I get such rad kids???

Y’all already know that I am a movie quote nerd. I throw quotes in my post, use quotes to teach (or embarrass) my kids, and pretty much can carry on an entire conversation with my brother in movie quotes. My kids don’t know as many quotes as me, so when we play “The Movie Quote Game” we usually do the “Disney Version.” :)

I’ve always been a huge fan of not only Disney movies, Mickey Mouse, etc…, but also of  Walt Disney – the man. Of course we know he created the Disney resorts, but lesser known is that he received fifty-nine Academy Award nominations and won twenty-six Oscars, including a record four in one year, giving him more awards and nominations than any other individual. He was such a gifted man… A visionary.

I’ve been to Disney World several times and had the opportunity to stay at Orlando Vacation rentals. I love Disney World. Being there has a way of erasing all the “yucks” of the world. I was in the middle of my divorce the last time I went. I was a newly single mom with 3 kids under the age of 6. We went to Disney World and it was awesome. Everything was ok for that week. It was perfect. I believe that is what Walt Disney was trying to do when he created this magical place. He wanted to create an escape from the stress, the yucks, of everyday life.

Thank you Walt Disney.

ROAD RAGE seems exciting. Seriously. Last nite Sei took me out for a milkshake because he’s romantic like that & I like Jack in the Box milkshakes. So… we’re heading back to our house when this idiot full on PASSES US ON THE LEFT, whips in front of us and nearly runs us off the road. The dork didn’t realize the reason we were going slower was because there was a car in front of us, so he got stuck. Anyway, as luck would have it he turned into our neighborhood. Idk if he was racing his friends behind us, but there was definitely 3 cars together.

Well, his 2 friends turned off behind us but he kept going because he thought we were following him. Ok, we were following him, but it was on the way to our house anyway. So technically…  Anyway- this part’s funny- he turned onto a street that ends in a cul-de-sac. I was all like, “Babe, let’s go confront him… I’m wearing my skull flip flops. You think anyone wants to take a roundhouse kick to the face when I’m wearin’ these bad boys?” Yeah, that’s when  Sei said, “I don’t have my gun, so let’s go home.” BUMMERman. He delivers.. So, we made him think we followed him, but then we just backed out and started goin’ home.

We see him pull out and turn the opposite direction towards back to where his friends were. I said, “Let’s go see if he was with those 2 other cars.” (Because I’m wild like that.) Well, he WAS with those guys and they were all outside and they saw us. Oops. So, we just left and started heading home.

Pay attention, here’s the thick of the plot… We’re heading home and the stupid truck pulls out behind us! The kids were home alone, we didn’t want him to see where we lived, so we turned right. He turned right. We made a loop and came back out the same place we were. So did he. Yep- he was definitely following us. We turned left. He turned left. We drove out of our neighborhood. He followed. I wasn’t really nervous. It was kinda exciting. I think he was just trying to see where we lived because he kinda hung back some… until we turned onto a street and Sei busted a U. The guy totally busted a U and then it wasn’t funny anymore.

He was following us and Sei was driving like a bat outta hell. Then we decided we needed to call 9-1-1, because let’s face it- my man didn’t have his gun, his badge and having his wife with him was makin’ him nervous. His “cop driving skills” were makin’ ME nervous. I was hangin’ on to the “O.S.” bar the whole time. lol  Anyway, right as he called 9-1-1 we saw a cop runnin’ radar on the highway. Sei flashed his brights and started pullin’ over. The truck, noticing the cop, turned his lites off and turned into a closed car lot. The cop hit his lites, DROVE DOWN THE GRASSY EMBANKMENT, and followed the truck. Yesssssssssssssssssssssss. I’m pretty sure he got pulled over- atleast for being suspicious. HAHAHAHA!

But now I’m like, “Great babe. He knows you have that stupid Laker plate frame on your car…” If he’s ever is in our neighborhood and sees it… Greeeeaaaaaattttt!!!!! Sei starts his nite shift this weekend and I am so jealous.  He gets to drive like that all the time! I told him I wanted to be a cop who chases the people, but then all the other cops can actually get the guy outta the car.  I’d just talk trash from inside my squad car…

***  Cool points if you caught the Fresh Prince lyric. Cool points if you can tell me where “Bummerman. He delivers.” is from. **

I’m a movie freak. Not as much as some people, but I love movies. I love quoting movies. And I have an insane memory that allows me to have stupid thoughts that keep me up at nite. Growing up I watched the movie “Misundertood.” It starred Henry Thomas (”Elliot” from  E.T.), Gene  Hackman, and Huckleberry Fox. You may remember Huckleberry from the movie “Terms of Endearment.”

So stinkin’ cute…

What happened to him? And did y’all ever see that movie… “Misunderstood“?  I’m pretty sure it was a movie about a dysfuntional relationship between a single dad and his 2 boys…

And while we’re talking about movies that Henry Thomas was in… most people have seen “Cloak and Dagger” but have you seen “The Quest” (aka “Frog Dreaming”)? It was based in Australia…  That’s where I got my sweeet line “Probably your breath blowing back into your face.” (Must be said with an Australian accent.) Or have you seen him in “Raggedy Man” with Sissy Spacek and Eric Roberts?  That was a pretty good movie.

Anyway… I’m just rambling and trying to find out if I’m the only freak that wonders about things like “Whatever happened to Huckleberry Fox???”

Oh- and has anyone else seen the movie “The Girl  Who Spelled Freedom?” No-  Henry Thomas isn’t in it.  I just threw that in there for the heck of it.

** So… you may have noticed that I added a “Daily Movie Quote” to the top of my blog. When I say “daily” I mean “whenever I remember to change it.” You are welcome to name the movie in your comment or if you clickety on the movie reel it takes you to the answer. Yesterday’s was “We look like bad guys. Incompetent bad guys!” which was from one of my all time faves “The Incredibles.”

** Lately Liv has become obsessed with “boons” aka “Boobs.” She asks me about mine all the time, shows me “hers”, asks to see Isabel’s, talks about getting “boons” when she’s bigger, etc… It’s funny except when she feels me up in public.

** “24″ is stressin me out. I do not like Tony Almeida being bad. 3 more hours left!!

** Our school district is closed for all this week due to the swine flu. I can kindof understand *why* but here’s my questions:

1) What about the thousands on kids that receive free breakfast and lunch? For some kids that’s all the food they get. I know they have a couple of food programs set up to help, but seriously, I worry for those kiddos. I’m dropping some food off at a drop off site today.

2) What about the parents who don’t have sick time or vacay time to take off work, yet their kiddos are too young to stay at home alone? How do they find and afford childcare?

3) Do they really think we’re gonna keep all our kids “quarantined” in the house? I have EIGHT kids here this week including the kids I babysit. If I kept them all quarantined we’d all end up hanging in a closet.

** Wassup with the price and lack of ammunition these days? People are worried about new gun control laws, etc… so they are stockin’ up. Bullets for my .38 are selling out as soon as they come in. I have 5 bullets left. I better not miss.

** My birthday is coming up. When I turned 30 I was really upset. Seriously depressed. But now 1/2 the time I can’t remember how old I am anyway. Is that a sign of aging?

I quoted my brother once in a talk. I said, “Elder Walker A. W____ said….” I wonder if anyone caught that- wondering “Who the heck is Elder W_____??”

Ya know the song “Wind Beneath My Wings”? Ok, well there’s a line that goes “It must have been cold there in my shadow. To never have sunlite on your face.” Ok, I feel like that sometimes. I am married to THE MOST talented man on the face of this earth ever to have been married to me. He can play the piano, by ear, so well that he made a cd and people are actually buying it. He can surf. He can sing. He can play any sport. He can talk to anyone. He can stay in shape without doing anything. He sees the good in everyone (which would explain why he married his 1st wife. He saw any tiny bit of good that there was to see.) I mean, the man even has beautiful handwriting. Anyway- I am so proud of my hubby. I am the 1st to brag on him. I encouraged him to make his cd. I love that he can talk to people, because I can’t. But man! Sometimes I just wanna say, “God, could you maybe break me off a little somethin’ somethin’??” I know I have talents. I KNOW I do. I have to because I know God gave us all talents. But if I was asked to be in a talent show, I couldn’t be. What would I do? Show them my system for what I like to call “Creative Bill Paying”?? or perhaps, “Movie Quotes While Making Dinner”?
I don’t know. I’ve kinda been down in the dumps since moving. In our last neighborhood I knew everyone and they knew me. I knew them well enough to have a conversation with anyone. They knew me well enough to get my jokes. (I AM funny, but very sarcastic and maybe a little offensive to some.) People talked about “Tori” – not just “Seiuli’s wife.” Well, now it’s back to being “Seiuli’s wife.” (Why people can remember the name SEIULI and not Tori is beyond me!??) I hold that title with pride, but I am more than that. I think. I feel like I’ve lost myself a little. Is it bad to be a little jealous of my husband? He’s starting a new business and I am so proud of him and I love him so much for working so hard. But is it bad to think “I want a little credit for all the hours I’m at home with the kids while you’re getting this business going.” It probably is bad. I’m a little bitter and that isn’t good. When he started working towards starting this business, his dream, it was 18 months ago and I was suppose to be very involved in it. Now, I’m not involved at all unless I forcefully involve myself. And now that the business is taking off (We got our 1st kid last nite, another today and another tomorrow!!) I feel like it’s this whole other life he has that has nothing to do with me. I don’t have another life that doesn’t involve him. My whole life is our family and home. That’s what I do 24-7. Being a wife and mom was always my goal in life but when I hear myself telling Sei, “Guess who was on The Wiggles today?! Barry Williams from The Brady Bunch!!” I know that I need help. I feel like everyone is doing things that they enjoy and improving/increasing their talents, except for me. I know that in a few years the kids will be older and I will be able to learn, practice and enjoy new things, but by that time I’ll be trying to learn to snowboard and fall and break a hip. I’ve been having babies since I was 19. (Holy crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????? What was I thinking??!??!?!?!?) I didn’t do the whole fun college thing. I feel like I have all this pint up inside of me and I won’t be able to do anything about it for like 15 years. I’m gonna be one of those 50 year olds that people are looking at going, “She really needs to act her age…” And when I do have time for me, what will I do with it? What will I try? I really need to find something to do for ME- now. Maybe a kickboxing class? Just getting out for a jog with no kids would do wonders, I think. But Taj never wants me to leave him and he throws the tantrums from hell.
Ugh. I hate feeling so… blah. I hate not feeling like myself. I really feel like this whole other person right now because I am really shy, so at church everyone thinks I’m this quiet nerd that hides behind her husband. They probably thinking, “What the heck is he doing with her? She must be rich or something…” Oh- if they only knew ME. I’m a big mouth and can be just as witty as Sei. Why is it so hard for me to let the real me out? It bugs. I seriously must have some kind of social anxiety. Sei and I went to a dinner with people he knows from work and I seriously stuttered and stumbled over my words when I tried to speak. Why? I don’t know. I do not like it!!! And everytime I know I’m gonna be around people that don’t really know me (like today for instance) I tell myself, “Be funny! Be yourself!! TALK to people!” But I already know it won’t happen. I will try to make myself as invisible as possible. Then I’ll come home bummed out because I was a big nerd again…
I know. I know. WHAAA-FREAKIN’-WHAAA Tori!! It’ll get better. I can’t hide forever. My kids can’t stay tiny and hanging on my leg forever. I should enjoy it now before they become butthead teenagers. And once I can talk to Sei (if he’s ever home again) I will feel better about all that stuff too. I just wanted to vent. Thanks for reading.

I need your help. My sister and I are going CRAZY (not a far stretch for us…) trying to remember what movie this scene is from:

Ok- my sister and I are dorks. We admit it. We’ve tried googling this but how the heck do you google something like this. “White lady shoots innocent black man.” “Lady shoots man with gun under hanky.” “Ritchie!!” All of these phrases brought up porn sites. So, if you can help us out we’d really appreciate it. (Come on Jenny. You’re our only hope…)

This goes along with the post from earlier today. I had to add this last quote and if you get it then you’re either related to me or a dork like me.

“My ankles are fat. I itch everywhere. There’s something hangin’ out of my butt. The article’s not going well and now, now I have to get a haircut.” “There’s something hangin’ out of your what?” “When you’re pregnant sometimes you get hemmoroids, ok.” “Oh. Bummer.”

Welp- to continue to prove my dorkiness I thought I’d give y’all some insight to my favorite travel game. Everytime we’re driving from here to Texas (or to Canada or to Salt Lake…) I try to get Sei to play with me. I don’t think he enjoys it, but he humors me for a little while. The kids love it!! It’s THE MOVIE QUOTE GAME. It can work 2 ways. 1) I say a quote and the other players try to guess the movie & vice versa. 2) I name a movie and the other players try to give a quote & vice versa. I basically kick butt in this game. My sister will tell you that I’ve always been one to remember weird stuff. (See “Marcia, Marcia Marcia!” post below.) & for some reason movie quotes and words to songs are some of the useless things I remember. So… I’m gonna list some quotes today and I’d like to see who can name the movies correctly. I’ll post the answers tomorrow or Thursday. Good luck!! Oh- this post is dedicated to my missionary brother, Elder Wright, because he’s as big (if not bigger) movie quote nerd as I am. Love you Woogs!

QUOTES:
1) “See this man?? His name is One Stab. He’s a venerated elder of the Cree nation. He’s counted coupe on hundreds of his enemies. He’s our friend and he’s thirsty.”

2) “I certainly do not think it’s fair for some girls to have plenty of lovely things, and other, prettier girls, to have nothing at all.”

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST….

Good luck!!

3) “Can you bring me my chapstick… But my lips hurt real bad!”

4) “Sniper how did you get so close to me?” “Sniper approached the instructor by being a sneaky bastard, Sgt. Major!!” “Chavez, do you know the fine for littering in the State of California??” “YES SIR!!”

5) “Personal escort of the princess?” “Aye.” “Musta made an impression.” “Aye.” “I didn’t think you were in the tent that long.”

6) “Had wooden teeth. Chased Moby Dick!” “That was Capt. Ahab, dude.”

7) “My father made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

“It must be Take A Worm for a Walk Week!”

9) “Congratulations. You’ve just won the gold, silver and bronze in the Moron Olympics.” “Who… Who won the gold?”

10) “We look like bad guys. Incompetent bad guys!”

11) “Maybe it was an elf. Or a leprecaun.” “It was nothing like that penis breath!”

12) “Tell the FBI , 1 million 3 hundred and 29…”

13) ” What’s that? Jessie and Prospector are trapped in the old abandoned mine and Prospector just lit a stick of dynamite thinking it was a candle and now they’re about to be blown to smithereens?”

14) “Alice, are you blind? Don’t you see the family resemblance? That’s my brother. “

15) “I’m not a child!” “You’re my child!“

16) “Well Mr. New Mexico. I wouldn’t give a bucket of piss for your future.” (Another: “Yoo-hoo. I’ll make ya famous.”)

17) “Do you think if I shaved off a nipple I’d get workman’s comp?”

18) “Darrell doesn’t have a nice a$$. You could park a car in the shadow of Darrell’s a$$.”

19) “5, 4, 3, 2, 1, let her fly. In and out…”

20) “Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT? “