Should I start with the good:

Or the bad: 

The Good? Ok. Let’s do that. I saw “New Moon” on Friday with a bunch of women from church. And although there was a lot of cheese and I CANNOT stand Bella- I can’t- the movie was still a lot of fun. Back to Bella- her acting makes me cringe. Her spastic eyelashes and tic-ish head shaking irritate me and her masculine voice saying, “Kiss me” as she raises her eyebrow all stupid bugged me to NO END. But she was saying it to Edward so I don’t care. But when she’s all gettin’ in Jacob’s face like she’s gonna kiss him and then says, “Don’t make me choose because I’d choose him” I could have kicked her arse- although I don’t want her WITH Jacob anyway. But hello- could you twist the knife in his heart a little more. Freakin’ biotch. Anyway… other than that- I really enjoyed Jacob’s chest the movie. Jacob was gorgeous if you didn’t look at his face too much. His body was unreal.  Un.Real. I told Sei, “I think you could have Jacob’s body…” and then I could have Jacob’s body. HA!  The whole wolfpack was lookin’ good despite their lack of acting skills. I still would prefer Stephen Strait as Jacob, but I’ll take Taylor Lautner’s chest. It’s all good.

Oh- and TAD AWARD to the whiney psycho lady going up and down the stairs in the theater looking for a seat. There was 3 empty ROWS at the front, but she wanted some at the top where they were all taken by people who showed up earlier. She was pissed that people were “not following the rules” because they were saving seats. Hello- 1/2 our row was gone to the concession stand so of course we saved their seats. She was entertaining…

I was totally bugged when every one squealed with delight when Jacob came on the screen. You know why? Because they are posers. TEAM JACOB used to have like 3 members on it before this movie. Me, Aubrey and… someone else. Idk. Anyway… Now that he’s lookin’ all hot in the movie it’s cool to “switch teams” and I say HELL NAW! I could see a hot Jacob in my head waaaaaay before the movie. I lusted reading the books and was all hot and bothered waiting for Sei to come home. I didn’t need Sharkboy to make me love Jacob. Sei = Jacob personality-wise, skin color, hot… You can’t switch teams now. You have to stick with your scrawny white bloodsucker with funky hair around his nipples… Moving on…

The bad:

Yeah, so you know how some lite posts have those round cement things holding them up? There was a random cement thing in the middle of a parking lot missing the actual lite post. I saw it, pulled up near it while I was waiting for spot and then promptly forgot it was there. I couldn’t see it because it’s only like 2 feet high and I’m in a Yukon. Yeah… I totally sideswiped it and now I keep tripping as I try to climb up on my totally bent running board to get in the SUV. Nice. I swear we can’t catch a friggin’ break. Grrr…

Another good mixed with a “What’d you call me?”:

Got to hang out with my girl, Stacy, on Saturday. We went to a club here in Denton to see a few local bands including Not So Average Mama’s husband. It was a great show all around. A few people fell into my lap as they were… idk… moshing? or something. That was interesting. And a random 17 year old that was outside the club told Stacy and I that we were “total MILFS.” (Mother I’d Like to ____) My initial thought was, “Is it that obvious we have kids??”  I wasn’t sure if I should be offended or excited or wash his mouth out with soap…

I wrote this post 2 years ago, but I’m going to repost it today because something that happened to Isabel yesterday reminded me of it:

Originally posted August 10, 2007:

Tonite I had a case of deja vu. (Say that like Sloth saying “BA-BY RUUUUTH.”) My butt was kicked clear back to a basketball tournament in the 8th grade. At the tournament I was hyper and acting like a goofy 13 year old I’m sure. I was all sweaty and what not, too. I asked a boy- I think he was from another school- a question. I don’t remember what is was. But I do remember his answer. He just looked at me and said, “Man, you are ugly.” I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I think my brilliant comeback was, “No I’m not!!” (Yeah. Good one Tori. “That’s what you are but what am I??? LOSER!!)

Well, tonite Tristan called from his youth activity asking me to bring his scout shirt. We had been out all evening and just dropped him off for scouts without it. I threw on my flip flops and my Longhorn hat and cruised up to the church. When I got there 3 boys ranging in ages probably 12-14 were riding around in the parking lot on their bikes. When I got out of the car I clearly heard one boy say, “Holy cow! She is uuuuugly!!” I assumed they were talking about someone else because I’m so hawt! Then I heard another say, “Yeah she is! Whoa.” I looked around and didn’t see any other person, let alone female, in the near vacinity. They were talking about me. I just ignored them and ran the shirt in. When I came back outside one of the punks was parked close to my Yukon. He full on stared at me and then rode around to his friends while he said, really loudly, “Man, beyond ugly!!” I was stunned. I couldn’t think of one smart-a$$ comment to throw back at him- and that’s rare for me. I’m full of smart-a$$ comments! Where was ElasticWaistbandLady when I need her??? I just got in my car and backed out full speed hoping one of the buttheads was just a little too close to my bumper. Then I could jump out when he’s face down on the ground, 1/2 his face torn off, bleeding profusely and yell, “Who’s ugly now?!? Bawahahahaha!!”

I drove home and was totally surprised by how I felt. I felt like crying. Why? Like I give a crap what some pre-pubescent kid thinks about me. Why was he looking at an old lady anyway?? Weirdo. But apparently I did care. I don’t know why. Maybe because I have a 12 year old and I don’t want to be one of those ugly, frumpy, embarrassing moms. Or maybe because I don’t want anyone to think I’m ugly. I don’t know. But it hurt my feelings. Stupid, I know. And I’m 1/2 joking as I type this. But, dude. What is up with obnoxious, rude kids?? Those boys are the ones that will have girls starving themselves or worse because some butthead told them they’re ugly. It makes me mad. And it makes me think I should have aimed better when I backed out.
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Now for what happened to trigger my memory of that old post…. Yesterday Isabel got off the bus after school and she told me, “When I was getting off a boy told me that pretty people go first, so he let me go in front of him. But then I heard someone say ‘Yeah, if you get rid of the bucked teeth and glasses…” She didn’t know who said it because they were behind her. It just broke my heart to hear that. Here she is, my 10 year old beautiful girl, and these jerk kids with no manners or consideration for other’s feelings, broke her heart. I wanted to punch the twerp in the face! Girls are so sensitive at that age anyway, but to have kids make fun of something you’re already sensitive about… makes me so sad. Isabel is beautiful- even with her overbite and glasses and I hate that I wasn’t there to kick some butt and take some names. SEE- she’s beautiful: 

So, to that rude, rude kid: You get a Tad Award. What’s that you ask? It’s an award I made up that I give out to jerks. Rude people. Lame people. You.

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It’s Tad Award time. For the newbies let me explain what this award is. Almost 2 years ago I introduced these awards. A Tad Award is NOT an award you want to win. The Tad Award is basically reserved for people who suck. I hand them out occasionally. You can click on the pic of Tad to read about other Tad Award winners. Here’s today’s:

So…. Sei was at work. It was his lunch break which is suppose to be his time- although it usually gets cut short by some kind of call. Anyway… the computer in his cop car was dying and needed to be charged. It charges only when the car is on. So, he went in to Whataburger to eat, but left the car running and locked and parked where he could see it. He was in Whataburger for about 20 minutes. He ordered, ate and left. When he went back to the station the lieutenant pulled Sei aside and let him know he had received a complaint. What?? A woman had taken the time out of her day to call the police station to file a complaint. She said she was glad that all their city tax money was going towards paying for a police officer to leave his car running during a 20 minute lunch. Are you freakin’ kidding me?
1st of all – Why do people think that because they pay taxes that they own the police? Or the cops owe them something?
2nd of all- who DOES that??? Seriously??? If she was bothered or concerned could she not have just said, “Excuse me officer. Did you know your car was on?” and then he could have explained that he was charging his computer. Instead she went to his superiors and complained against my husband because he left his car running.

Gee- what a freakin’ crime biotch.

Are you kidding me?

Tad award for you. And I hope you get pulled over soon.

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Because you never know what other drivers are distracted doing (like complaining about stupid things!!) while they drive, make sure you have the recommended auto insurance coverage.