My sweet Tristan was born 15 years ago today. He was this tiny 6.3 lb. conehead baby and now he’s 180 lbs., almost 5′10″,  squatting 335 lb.  CRA.ZEE.  Happy birthday Tdog!! You are awesome and I’m so proud of you!!

Friday was my dad’s birthday and this Friday is Isabel’s 11th. So… we went to PAR.TAY at Chuck E. Cheese.

I was in charge of the cake for the party. So… the cake lady at Kroger now thinks I’m insane.

TOP OF BOX

CAKE

Napoleon Dynamite pretty much rules…

Duke won. If I had made a bracket I would have at least picked the overall winner. But I never, in a million years, would have expected Butler to even be in the Final 4!! They played awesome and seriously, if my Duke wasn’t the team they were playing I would have totally been cheering for Butler. I have nothing but respect for them.

Yesterday I got all this, 12 pack of Charmin, 3 12 packs Dr. Pepper, 3 packs Stride gum, 2 Oral B toothbruses, 1 Colgate Total, The Chipmunks Squeakquel dvd, 5 packs of batteries, 2 bottles Head and Shoulders, 2 bottles Smart Rinse mouthwash, 2 bottles Dawn and 2 bottles of Cascade dishwasher soap:

Please note the dvd alone costs $24.99. I got all of this for less than $22. I know others would have done better, but I was stoked. Yay for saving money. :

OH! And today I got to do some paralegal type stuff for my friend who is a lawyer. I am stoked for the opportunity. I get to start helping her as needed. Sei said now I’m gonna be like the cool chick off “The Good Wife” that does all the dirty work. I love that show- have y’all seen it?

Speaking of shows… YVONNE, did you watch “24″!?!?! Were you trippin’ the whole 2 hours too, or what?? I was yellin at the tv like a maniac!! That is all.

I went to an Easter egg hunt with Livie the other day. A friend from church hosted it at her house. Livie was so confused when I told her we were going on an Easter egg hunt because it wasn’t dark. I’ve written about our annual  nite time egg hunts and those are the only egg hunts she’s been on. lol She figured out the egg hunt really quickly and left with almost 20 eggs. Then she and Taj dyed eggs and stuff candy into plastic eggs for our nite time hunt that we’ll do on Monday. We have to move everything around because Sei works Sunday nite and the older kids will be at the ex’s til Sunday nite.  But the eggs are ready to go, yo! Now I just need to round up some flashlites…

While I was at the hunt with Livie there were a group of women talking about divorce. If you were in that group and you’re reading this don’t think for a second that I took offense to the conversation- I didn’t at all. I’m just writing about my observations. The conversation came up because we were talking about Facebook statuses and stuff and how we find out major stuff, like someone is getting divorced, via Facebook. Then they went on to talk about how marriage is like no big deal to some people and people are getting divorced right and left. All that is totally true. But being a divorced woman I also know how easily divorce can come about when only one person is working to make the marriage work. I also know how devastating divorce can be to a family and how you are stuck dealing with crap because of the decision to divorce forever- even if divorce was the right choice. It sucks eggs. I’m kinda down with going back to Biblical laws. Then I would have been a widow instead of a divorcee. haha

Monday we’ll be celebrating my dad’s birthday as well as Tristan’s. My dad’s was Friday and Tristan’s is Tuesday.  I can’t believe I’ll have a 15 year old. What a trip. And on Friday Isabel will be 11!!! I am blessed to have really good kids. And I’m excited to celebrate these bdays with them!!! I guess I should get moving on gettin’ a cake for the party Monday. And now that I’m thinking about it… I have nothing planned for Easter dinner. Sei will be sleeping or leaving for work and Taj and Liv are down with corn dogs or ramen noodles, so I guess there’s nothing really to plan. I can’t really say that is a bad thing- I don’t really like to cook. haha

Hope y’all have a wonderful Easter weekend.

In the 9th grade I snuck out. A lot. But really all we were ever doing was driving around, seeing how many other people we could sneak out. Then we’d drive around dropping off each other and wake up for school 2 hours later…

I specifically remember the 1st time I snuck out. I was at a party of a fellow cheerleader. There were a couple of guys there that I kinda knew. I was hangin’ out, talking to them when they mentioned something about sneaking out. I was all about trying new things- especially things I wasn’t suppose to try- so I said, “OMgosh! Come pick me up!!” Nevermind we were all 14 and shouldn’t be driving, in the middle of the nite or at all… So, we made plans, I told them where I lived and that nite one of my girlfriends came to the wrong window. lol My sister woke me up to tell me my friend was at her window. She instructed me NOT to sneak out. When she was back asleep I left.

I had to write a poem for English class that week. I decided to write it about that nite:

SKITTLES

Red, yellow, purple, orange, and green, all make up this color scheme.

Of this candy, in a little red bag, reminds me of a nite I had.

Floating in the air with no floor beneath I opened the the window & there was he.

“Come with me, to my big, blue boat, and across the waters we will float.”

With no second thoughts & no questions asked, through the cartoon veil I passed.

The captain was one whom I’d like to meet. His eyes so brown & smile so sweet.

Six green leaves unfolded quickly, when the winds began blowing swiftly.

Life renewed and energy in store, “We’ll wrestle for the woman. Who wants her more?”

With teeth so sharp and claws of fire, my captain had the most desire.

O captain, my captain with orange hat on head, For you I’ll walk the plank of dread.

Uncovered manhole, hard & cold, the upside down cake he did hold.

Heat as my heart, street lamps did gleam.

From silent box this myth would scream.

————-

I remember most of the meanings behind it. We were in a big, blue van- not a boat. lol The guy I liked at the time had a bright orange Florida Gators hat. We bought Skittles at a convenience store where we also got $6 in gas.  I actually mentioned that in another post! 2 other guys liked me- they were all friends- and they fought over me. lol  And that relationship lasted approximately 4 weeks. It was love…Haha!!  I have no idea what I was talking about with the upside down cake and uncovered manhole…  Anyway… the same friend who came to the wrong window sent me this poem via Facebook. I totally knew what it was right when I saw it. I remember reading it in English class and we were both giggling because we knew all the “secrets” behind it… Ahhh… memories.

Tristan has been going thru a major growth spurt for, oh, about a year and half. When we moved to Texas he was about an inch shorter than me. I’m 5′3″. He is now atleast 5 inches taller than me and weighs the same as Sei. He’s grown out of 2 complete wardrobes and is now wearing Sei’s pant, shorts, shirts, shoes… I’m not sure how long that will last. I used to shop online for him but now it’s impossible because I don’t know what will fit. His newest thing to outgrown is his church shirts. He’s wearing Sei’s dress shirts, but Sei only has a few as it is. Oh- and he’s on the last notch on his belt.  I’m hoping it doesn’t get too cold this winter because I’m positive the sleeves of his coat are too short. Idk what to do! I can’t afford to feed AND dress him. We went to McDonalds yesterday and he ate four, yes FOUR (4), McDoubles plus some fries. I am now accepting donations for FEED MY CHILDREN.

Alec told us a totally dorky joke…

A little girl asked her parents, “Why’d you name me rose?”

“Because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head!”

The sister asked her parents, “Why’d you name me daisy?”

“Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head…”

The son said, “Eeer ahhhhhhh me ooooh durrrrrrr!!”

“Shut up Cinderblock!!”

Ok, for some reason this  joke was hilarious to me- and my whole family. When someone is acting not-so-smart we call them “Cinderblock.” This week we’ve  had a major cinderblock amongst us. So I don’t point fingers at which child it was, I will just says it was our ONLY TEENAGER. Ok yes, Cinderblock of the Week  is Tristan.

This kid drove me up the wall this week. And I can’t believe I just used the phrase “Drove me up the wall.” Hi Mom!! Next thing I know I’ll be saying “Tough tea bags.” I’m not sure what that even means and I’m totally off the subject… Back to Cinderblock…

Let’s start with the fact that Tristan attends an early morning scripture study class M-F at 6am. Yes- he is awesome. But he also needs to get to football practice that starts at 7am. According to him he just “HAD” to be there by 6:45am because it takes him “FOREVER” to get all his pads on. So,  I told him to stick his cell phone in his pocket on vibrate and I’d text/call when I got to the church to pick him up. I told him that 4-5 times. So at 6:43am I pull into the church parking lot and text Tdog.  And wait. 1 minute later I text again… 2 min. later I call him. 1 more minute passes I text. At 6:50am I call and text. Nothing. At 6:54 am he comes strollin’ out with the rest of his class. He comes to the car and I say, “Are you kidding?” “What?” I started mocking him, “I have to be there by 6:45. It takes FOREVER to get my pads on…” His reason for not coming out at 6:43?? “Well, I was in the middle of class.” No crap? CINDERBLOCK.

The next day he didn’t have early practice, but Alec did. I dropped Alec off at school at 6:45 and sped to the church. I got there at 6:52 y’all. Kids are comin’ out, gettin’  in cars… I wait. And wait. 6:57am I see the teacher leave and I’m like “WTH?” I call home and Sei says, “Tristan just walked in. Your mom gave him a ride.” Good to know. I asked T how he even ended up in my mom’s car. He said, “She was pickin’ up Ali, so I just went and got in.”  Nevermind the fact his mom was coming to pick him up. CINDERBLOCK.

And last but not least. Thursday Tristan had his 1st high school football game. I asked him if they were going to feed him before the game. He said he thought they were, but I gave him $6 just in case. At 10:20 am I get a text saying they were leaving at 4:40 so I needed to bring him food before then. Alrighty then. I text back, “Dad will bring you food at 4pm. ANSWER YOUR PHONE when he calls you.” At 3:50 Sei goes to the school with a footlong Subway sandwich. He calls T. No answer. He calls, and calls, and calls. He finally goes into the football field house and finds a coach. This is at 4:20. He asks the coach to find T and give him his sandwich.  The coach takes the sandwich and Sei leaves. When he gets back in the car his phone beeps like he has a voicemail. “Um, hi. This is Tristan. We left at 3:40, not 4:40. So don’t bring me any food. Bye.” He called and left this voicemail at 4:21 pm. Did he not realize he was getting on a bus 40 minutes before that?? Seriously? CINDERBLOCK.

So there you have it. My sweet, special CINDERBLOCK. But to balance it out- he did awesome as punter in his football game. First punt of the season:

Time is up and it’s time to announce the winner of the Totally Texty Giveaway!! As always, I used Random.org to choose my winner. That’s a cool lil site that makes me feel guilt-free when I pick a winner. YAY!

Anyway… enough rambling. The winner of the boy or girl’s Totally Texty hair product is:  

Who’s comment number 37??

Congrats Nuri!

I will be contacting the winner via email and will need to hear back within 48 hours or a new winner will be chosen.  CONGRATS again!!

My kids are funny. They are. They so totally rock and I love being with them. Alec is a lot like Sei. He’s very social and funny and sensitive. I love it. Last week he got to give a talk during church. When Tristan spoke last year we had the BIG DARE where we dared Tristan to use a Napoleon Dynamite quote during his talk. He is awesome and did it, of course. This time was Alec’s turn. He SOOOOOO did it. He even talked LIKE Napoleon. He started his talk with a (true) story. He said, “I went to scout camp this past week and it was pretty much the hottest week of my life. My lips got really chapped so I was digging thru my bag hoping my mom packed me chapstick. I found a ziplock bag that had this Napoleon quote written on it: CAN YOU BRING ME MY CHAPSTICK?… BUT MY LIPS HURT REAL BAD! “   It was rad and everyone laughed. So cool. I, of course, was the dork who wrote that on the ziplock that I packed his chapstick in. Yesssssssssssssssss.

And then today at church there was a special musical number this lady and her daughter were singing. The prelude music for it totally sounded like “The Rose” by Bette Midler. Sei leaned over and said, “I thought it was The Rose.” Then I look over at Alec and he’s doing his hands like a butterfly…. like at the end of this video (around 1:00). He had me rollin’…

How’d I get such rad kids???

So yesterday after I was done watching the kids I babysit we took the kiddos (all 7) + my lil sister (not so little- she’s 15) to the lake to swim, eat pizza, hang out. On the way there I was controlling the music because that’s what I do- control things. I love to play songs that drive Tristan, my 14 yr old, crazy. Which songs would that be, you ask?

• Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers
• The Thong Song by Sisqo
• Simple Kind of Life by No Doubt
• Summer Girls by LFO

WHY do these songs drive him crazy?? Oh, because he was just the cutest stinkin’ 5 year old back in the day that didn’t know any better than to “raise the roof” when The Thong Song came on. I’d look back in the backseat of the car and he was just ajammin’ away in his lil booster seat. SO.CUTE. Simple Kind of Life was a fave of mine and for some reason I made my poor kiddos act out the video. Hey, I was a weird, newly single mom. Acting out videos with my kids was entertainment to me. lol  And Tristan was so cute doing it!  Summer Girls… I think he just hates that because it says “New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits. Chinese food makes me sick…” The lyrics are so dumb, but I like it. My personal fave line “When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet. Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole buncha sonnets…” Ahh yeah…  Californication is a pretty cool song. Tdog is just embarrassed because when he was like 7 he’d say “Oh yeah Californication! This is my favorite song!!” and now, I tease him. That’s my job.

Some of y’all may be strokin’ out that I had my 5 yr old listening to The Thong Song, but we all know Taj can sing “Low” by Flo Rida and now Liv can not only sing “Teenage Dirtbag,” She also sings “Gives You Hell.” I should say what Isabel’s stepmom told her, “Are they cursing at us? That is NOT appropriate!” after Isabel told her “Gives You Hell” was a fave of mine. The stepmom promptly switched it to a Christian station. But you know… I’m good. I couldn’t call myself a brat if I did that.

Go ahead. Let me have it. Tell me what a bad mom I am…

This giveaway is closed to comments.

I have a house full of kids including one totally texting teenager. I have 4 tweens as well who would LOVE to be texting, but don’t have a phone. Bwahaha! I love making fun of the texting language and forever quoted from the cell phone commercial “Idk, my bff Jill?”  So, could it be any more appropriate for shampoo and conditioner formulated especially for tweens and teens to be named “Totally Texty“!??!

Made specially for the scalp needs of teens and tweens, Totally Texty is Sodium Laurel Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Parabens, DEA, and TEA free.  It will help the hair stay fresh longer, without adding harsh chemicals to the hair.  We have achieved this by adding a new deodorizer to the formulation.

We have created two unique formulas.  “We are trying to incorporate text messaging fun with the best of hair care.”  Totally Texty™ products comes in a distinctively packaged bottle with a fun text message title ddg(drop dead gorgeous) and ytmn(you’re the man now).  Each formulation has an age appropriate scent that appeals to teens and tweens (No bubble gum flavor here!) 

Totally Texty allowed me the opportunity to try out their girls formulation shampoo and conditioner AND the boys formulation shampoo.  Right from the start, Isabel told me her hair had less tangles.  And this girl has a MOP of hair that always has tangles. That this was HUGE!!  My boys like it too and I really like the fresh, clean smell rather than the over-the-top-I-smell-like-I’m-a-man-who shaves-but-really-I’m-only-12 smell. They all liked having their own shampoo so they didn’t smell like watermelon or bubble gum like their 3 and 5 year old siblings.

Totally Texty is really catching on and is so cool they have been asked to host the Pre-party for the Teen Choice Awards this August. Pop Star magazine is covering the event and is featuring Totally Texty as one of their top beauty picks in their September issue. I’m so glad I got to try this new product and share it with you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  GIVEAWAY  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Totally Texty is giving me the opportunity to host a giveaway!! You can win a Totally Texty product- for boys or girls.

For your main entry:

• Go visit the Totally Texty webpage.  Click on “Net Speak” on the cell phone and comment with one new text term you learned. That’s it! Simple, huh?

For bonus entries:

• Subscribe to my blog. It’s in the right top of my sidebar. Comment back here to let me know you did.
• Grab my button from the sidebar and post it on your blog. Leave me a link to where I can find it.
• Follow me on twitter and tweet this giveaway! Leave me a comment with either your twitter id or a link to your tweet. You can retweet daily to earn an extra entry each day.
• Fave me on technorati, stumble this post, or link it from Facebook. You can do all three for 3 different entries. Each is worth one entry. You can click on the links for each of these sites at the bottom of this post.
• Email a link to this post to atleast 3 friends and CC me to: tori [at] swampbrat[.]net. Don’t forget to leave a comment so you have your entry.
• Blog about this giveaway and comment back with a link to the post. This is worth THREE entries!

There you go! LOTS of ways to win! This giveaway will end August 5 at 11:59pm.

Don’t forget to enter my other giveaways. They are listed in my sidebar under “MY CURRENT GIVEAWAYS.” Good luck!

I have a white personality.

WHITE: These are the peacekeepers. Peace, or the absence of conflict, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of clarity and tolerance and are generally kind, adaptable, good-listeners.  

Although I was a total butthead as a teenager, I’ve never had the personality that enjoyed conflict, etc… If someone in my family was mad at another member, I was the one cracking jokes to smooth it out. (Atleast now anyway…)  I was never a big “fighter” either. I got in one fist fight in high school. It was at a party and honestly I don’t even remember why I hit her. I do remember being calling “Muhammed Ali” for months after that because I fought with a closed fist- none of that sissy pullin’ hair crap.

Anyway… there was a time when a girl was messing with my lil sister, Nicole. Nicole was NOT a big girl. Like 5 foot nothing, weighing less than 100 pounds. This girl was dating an old boyfriend of mine and I guess had issues with that. Pfft, Idk why since it had been 3 years or so, but whatever. Nicole called me, crying about this girl that would threaten her in the bathroom, etc… I wasn’t gonna put up with that so I told her I was coming up to her school. Nicole was scared I would be hurt. “But Tori! She slams girl’s heads into lockers!”  I remember preparing to go see this girl. I was nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. I remember deciding to wear my letter jacket because it made me look bigger. lol

When I arrived at the school I noticed a girl right away- she was dressed in something that I would think a witch would wear. It was a black and white dress-thing with a shredded bottom. I thought, “She looks like a spider.”  I found Nicole and was like, “Ok, where is she?” Nicole pointed to none other than THE SPIDER. I wasn’t sure what I was suppose to do then.  I was 17 and on a school campus that wasn’t mine. I knew if I got in a fight I’d be arrested. So… I looked at this chick and she saw me. I guess she either already knew who I was or word travelled fast. It was obvious she knew who I was and why I was there. I full on expected this “tough chick” who “slammed girl’s heads into lockers” to come over and confront me since it was ME she had the problem with. Uh- no. She hid in her little circle of friends. I’m not a big fighter, but if you piss me off you’re gonna know. And I give excellent “Go to hell. I will kick you a$$” looks. I just stared at her and she WOULD NOT look me in the eyes. So much for being tough. pfft.  She never approached me, but a principal did. I just told him I was picking up my sister. Then I left. Yeah, Spider chick never messed with Nicole again. I guess I just look that bada$$. lol

This wasn’t the only time I found myself defending my tiny sister. This next time was after I was married to my 1st husband. Tristan was a baby- maybe 3 months old. I was in Chick Fil A where Nicole worked eating with my mom. This girl, I can’t remember her name, was there with a couple of guys and I could full on hear her talking trash about my sweet lil sister. Oh not she dihn’t! Before I knew it I was following her out of the restaurant. “Hey! Do you have a problem with Nicole?” (What the heck was I doing? All I could think was I was now 19 and was gonna be arrested while my baby sat there in his stroller. lol) She mumbled something and I said, “I heard you talking about her. What’d she do to you?” This chick backs up and says, “F**k you.” She’s lucky I was a mature mom (not) and instead of hitting her like I really, really wanted to, I stepped towards her, got in her face and said, “Excuse me? Say that again.” Yeah, she didn’t.  She backed up and hid behind one of her guys and said, “We’re gonna be late to our movie.”  As much as I wanted to pound her face,  I was relieved I didn’t have to go to the county jail that nite.

I don’t know why I was thinking about those times. Sometimes I just really miss Nicole and I think of the funny things we went thru together. I also think it’s funny I can talk so much trash, but when it comes down to it I just want everyone to get along. I don’t like conflict & confrontations. I prefer people to be happy. But that doesn’t mean I won’t call you out if you mess with one of my babies or other loved one. I will mess you up.